Category: Gratitude

Alcoholism, Environment, Faith, Frugality, Gratitude, Homesteading, Minimalism, Nature, Zero Waste

Tightwad Tuesday

Lisa Burbank

I think I created a post a couple of years back about frugality but it bears repeating. We live in a culture where everything bigger, or more of something, is better. It is natural to want more in life. But when so many people are in debt up to their ears because they have far too many credit cards; they allowed that real estate agent to up-sale them into a house they couldn’t afford or, I cringe as I type this as I work for a car dealership, but up-sales are a part of that world, too. As their photographer, I spend a good part of the afternoon driving around the parking lot in brand new cars–I don’t even own a car right now! So put me in the seat of that Silverado High Country–and, believe me, “my” dealership has some sweet trucks in their lot right now–and I’m practically salivating…and this summer’s 90+ temperatures have nothing to do with it. However, I’m already eating a lot of pasta and beans, and PB&J for lunch; I refuse to take the Crazy Cat Lady a step further and start dining with the felines as, sadly, many do. And no, that real estate agent or salesperson isn’t inherently evil in trying to up-sale you a higher-priced item. A bigger sale means a bigger commission and they have to eat, too. Without those commissions, they’re barely scraping minimum wage. But keeping your head instead of letting emotion drive your decisions is a discipline worth learning. The salesperson will still earn a commission on the item you can afford but you won’t be re-mortgaging or filing bankruptcy later on. Take it from one who knows: debt hurts.

Years ago, a gentleman that I was dating made a good point about something. He was incredibly frugal about his necessary living expenses: housing, food, utilities and yet he indulged in extravagances. But, as he pointed out, because he conserved so well on the essentials–and he didn’t starve or freeze during the winter months; quite the contrary, he had updated his home to be super energy efficient and so it stayed toasty warm all season–he could afford a few luxuries. He could indulge in many of his interests. And so, he actually lived a bit better than most because he was careful with his expenses and, when he made an investment, he did so with the future in mind. He also tithed regularly, had a healthy retirement fund and a savings. These last three are key. Without some sort of savings, you automatically have to go into debt when something breaks or needs replacing. Without a retirement or 401K, what will you do when you grow too old and infirm to work 40+ hours a week? And He only asks for a tithe = 10%; you get to keep 90%.

Of course, Super Tightwad here–and, no, that doesn’t equal “cheap”; your birthday gift may have been purchased on sale but it didn’t come out of the gumball machine–weighs everything. Whether it is a necessity or an indulgence, I carefully weigh it. I’ve been known to take field trips to the supermarket to price all of the fixings for a veggie burger at Burger King (i.e. condiments, lettuce, tomato, etc) vs. one made at home with all of the trim; the cost was nearly doubled. When you realize what you’re really spending, how convenient is it? I know I’ve posted before that Amy Dacyczyn’s “Tightwad Gazette” is one of my secular bibles. When I first started reading it, the first thing that happened was she changed my mind about how I viewed frugality. I grew up in a home with a very modest income. Of course, my stepfather’s penchant for the bottle had a lot to do with our financial status and there was as much shame attached to his behavior as there was to the hand-me-downs and goodwill visits. In the “Tightwad Gazette”, however, Ms. Dacyczyn points out how, for example, we buy brand new clothes and, within a few months to a year, we either relegate them to the back of the closet where they never see the light of day again or we discard them. In fact, discarded clothing makes up a large bulk of our landfills so overcoming even this one fetish for the latest fashions would solve another problem in our society. She relates a story about buying a pair of boots second-hand for her daughter. They were the right brand but the color was “wrong”. Well, her daughter wore them to school, despite the “wrong” color, and came home raving about how everyone loved the boots in this unique color. I am not at all ashamed to admit that when I decide I “need” a new skirt or blouse, I shop at the thrift store FIRST (intimate apparel and shoes are the exceptions). It’s all about perception. If you can look at frugality as a skill, an art, maybe even as something fun–a game to be played in the marketplace, it takes away the stigma our society has attached to thrift. And who doesn’t love a few extra dollars in their pocket?

Maybe it is natural to want more. I’m thinking that’s just another myth we’ve been brainwashed by our media to believe. I know I quote HGTV a lot but they are a good example of the societal mindset. In my not-so-humble opinion, nobody needs 5000 square feet of living space unless your last name is Duggar and you’ve got 19+ kids in tow. Even then, I would question it. You see a lot of waste on HGTV, a lot of spoiled, superficial people (or seemingly so) who have to rip out the “dated” kitchen and replace everything. Okay. Maybe the refrigerator is old and inefficient. That would make sense. But a coat of paint on the cabinets would give the room a fresh, new look without sending a lot of composites and laminates to the landfills…or without emptying your wallet. I also quote tiny houses a lot. No, not everyone could live in a space 400 square feet or less, but they do provide some great examples of how to maximize living space so that maybe 1000 square feet instead of the 3000 square-foot McMansion will suffice–without one feeling deprived. The tiny house movement forces us to look at life from the perspective of “what do we need” vs. “how fast can I keep up with the jones'”? And, as they quote a few tiny house builders and/or buyers in their advertisements, the mindset is to save more on the cost of living so you can afford to live life–to spend more quality time with family and friends rather than in the office working overtime to pay for the 3000 square feet; to get outdoors and spend more time in nature; to spend more time playing sports, attending concerts or going to the theatre–whatever your passion. When you look at how much you sacrifice in memories, in good health and happy, relaxing experiences, the cost goes even higher.

May God bless you & keep you!

Works Cited

Dacyczyn, A. The Tightwad Gazette. Villard Books, New York: 1993.

Animals, Creativity, Gratitude, Herbs, Holistic Health, Homesteading, Nature, Spirituality, Writing

Monet I Am Not

Lisa Burbank

I added a brief blurb to one of last week’s posts about starting a mural on the wall of my home office. This is the one room of the house I have never painted in all the years I have lived here. I’m not sure why–and it certainly could use a coat of paint–but somehow the unpainted, unfinished walls add a sort of creative aesthetic to the room. A blank but less-than-perfect slate upon which to feed the creative genius. Last week, I painted the sky and the grass. This week I added details.

I am painting my dream life, my dream property in Maine. You see, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about manifesting, using creative visualization to manifest what you hope to achieve. I have several vision boards in the office, on the refrigerator, and even on the cork board next to my desk at work. For those of you unfamiliar with vision boards, a vision board is a collage of images of your heart’s desire. Mine have a wild assortment of goats, sheep, rabbits and Border Collies, as well as an array of antique furniture, spinning wheels, looms, beehives, and herb and vegetable gardens. You can add affirmations to them, too. The idea is to surround yourself with these constant reminders of where you want to be. I even have one with the image of a manual typewriter with an affirmation beside it that reads: I am a professional writer. Eh, whatever motivates you. And the mural is simply a larger vision board–one that I am putting a lot of passion and creative energy into as I improve upon my drawing and painting skills. (I read somewhere that this really helps with the manifestation process; it doesn’t hurt to try)

Painting a wall a single color is actually kind of boring to me. I know many contractors and house painters who find it meditative but I need more detail. Painting a scene on a bit of canvas is meditative for me–as long as I can still the inner critic. But that’s actually not hard to do as I paint simply for enjoyment. When I write, the critic comes out. Though I enjoy writing, too, I tend to forget the rule of thumb about not expecting your first draft to be bestseller material. It won’t be. Accept it. When I paint, though most of the details I’ve added to the mural are pretty easy to figure out, I am definitely not a Monet. And that’s okay…even if it is occupying the whole wall in my home office. Though not a Monet, it does look like a bit of folk art, with a whimsical willow tree over a sea cliff, and some fruit trees that look like they stepped out of a Tim Burton movie. Once I add some leaves and the actual fruit, these skeletal monsters will look a bit more benign. As for the animals? I think I am going to have to find some “how-to” books or websites; my artistic skills need a little honing before I add them to the wall. I can do a passable cat, rabbit, sheep and even a horse but my chickens, ducks and goats leave a lot to be desired.

All in all, it was a great way to spend an afternoon. I went into that proverbial “zone” for a few hours and found true relaxation, something that is often sadly lacking with me as I tend to be moving in 20 different directions at once. It’s nice to be able to focus.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Animal Rights, Gratitude, Herbs, Homesteading, Nature, Writing

It All Started with Dreams of Goats and Sheep

Lisa Burbank

My favorite part of the St. Louis Zoo was the children’s petting zoo, especially the area where all the kids and lambs were kept. I could have stayed there all day. We went to the zoo a lot in the summer months so at least I got frequent visits where I could feed my growing obsession. In between visits, I would fantasize about having goats and sheep of my own. It’s funny because I never saw this enormous farm. It was always a smaller place with just enough room for a small herd. And I always had a garden full of herbs and flowers–the Botanical Gardens were another favorite place to visit as a kid. I would even imagine myself in later years as an old woman with that herd of goats and sheep, and a yard full of flowers, herbs and vegetables. I can’t think of a better way to retire someday but I am working towards making that dream come true now. That old woman of myself was happily settled.

It started with the petting zoo. Books fueled it further. When my family relocated from Rhode Island to St. Louis, Missouri in December 1978, I felt completely lost. I missed my family. Granted, my stepfather’s family welcomed me as their own and I’ve been blessed with a third “set” of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that I love dearly. It’s just the place where you’re born always has a special tug, no matter where you end up later in life. And I was convinced there would be at least one family member I would lose before we returned East again. You see, I lost my paternal grandfather shortly after we relocated the first time in December 1974. He was probably my biggest influence. He was a writer and a musician and he gave me a love of learning that I cherish to this day. He started teaching me chess at the tender age of 3–well enough that I held my own in a chess club against some with trophies bigger than houses, though I’ve never had an interest in competing; I enjoy the game just because it’s fun and requires one’s total absorption. My family managed to move back East just before Poppop’s passing in April 1975. Nanny, my paternal grandmother, passed almost a year to the day after Poppop and things were never quite the same in my world. Somehow it stuck in my head that major moves like that would result in losing someone dear again. And I did. My Uncle Jimmy was killed in a car accident 6 months’ after that second relocation in May 1979. We were only 4 years apart in age and our birthdays just 2 days’ apart. Mom and Grandma Heon would have a cake for us both on the day in between our birthdays. Anyway, at 12 years old, this was just too much grief and homesickness to deal with so books became my solace.

I remember being in Ms. Borden’s 7th grade class and picking up Elizabeth George Speare’s “The Witch of Blackbird Pond”. It was set in New England–Connecticut, more specifically–and the vivid descriptions of a Puritan village (I had already visited Sturbridge on a field trip and fallen in love…) and autumn foliage and the smell of salty sea air brought home a little closer to me. Maybe that’s where the dreams of myself being a little old lady with a bunch of goats really came from as the character of Hannah Tupper lives alone in her little dilapidated cottage with her goats and her cats (I am sort of in line for that title of “Crazy Cat Lady”…). She reminded me of another elderly woman who lived across the street from my maternal grandparents. Her name was Mae. And I know her last name but I am not sure of the spelling so please forgive the lack of etiquette. Anyway, this book became a major part of my life. I still have a copy. And I cannot count the number of times I have read it.

“Those Miller Girls” by Alberta Wilson Constant was another that captured my heart at that tender age. Though it was not set in New England like “The Witch of Blackbird Pond”, Swish the Goat was a major supporting character–at least in my book he was. This seemed to be a theme to my early readings. Ironically, I didn’t read “Heidi” until my early 40’s!

A couple of years later Mom had enrolled in the Doubleday Book Club. One of the first books she received was entitled, “The Tiger’s Woman” by Celeste De Blasis. Unlike “The Witch of Blackbird Pond” and “Those Miller Girls”, it did not feature any goats, though there were plenty of sheep. And this was not a young adult reader. If Mom had known the very adult content, she probably would have prohibited me from reading it at 14 years of age; the bedroom scenes were quite explicit. But this book actually became a major catalyst in my life as the lead character of Sarah-Mary Drake and I shared a common childhood: we both had fathers (in my case, stepfather) who wanted too much to do with us. I suddenly felt less alone in the world but, more importantly, the influence that this book in particular had on my life still has the power to astound me: my love of Newfoundlands from the character of Captain; my determination to learn American Sign Language from the characters of Maggie and Ben; Sarah-Mary learns gardening, spinning, weaving, breadmaking–all of the myriad aspects that make up homesteading. A later book by Celeste De Blasis, entitled “Wild Swan”, had almost as much of an impact as the lead character, Alexandria, is an herbalist, as is her grandmother, Virginia. The vivid descriptions of Virginia’s English herb garden stuck with me and put me in mind of Mae, too. Though I don’t recall Mae having an herb garden, she did know her plants, her herbs. Mom cured a case of pink eye (conjunctivitis) in me using a decoction of spearmint leaves, a remedy that she learned from Mae when she was a child.

I am definitely older now. Not sure if I’m any wiser. But copies of these books stand on the shelf of my library, tattered and torn, the bindings cracked, the pages yellowed from their many handlings over the years. Every once in awhile, I feel a need to re-visit some old friends and mentors, and remember the solace these cherished volumes provided for a lost and lonely little girl. It could be, too, that they’re simply some well-written stories with some vivid and memorable characters. I admit, if I can write just one complete novel with even half of the dynamics that Celeste De Blasis put into her novels, I will consider myself a success as a writer. She was an extraordinary author…even if she didn’t feature any goats in her novels.

Almost 40 years later, I am still in love with Swish the Goat. And I still linger overlong in the petting zoos.

May God bless you & keep you!

Faith, Gratitude, Homesteading, Religion, Spirituality, Yoga & Fitness

Unsolved Mystery…

Lisa Burbank

My new class started yesterday so I spent most of my day holed up in the home office…which smells a lot like acrylic paint right now due to the mural-in-progress but that’s neither here nor there. It wasn’t until later in the afternoon that I went downstairs and found the mail that Mom had brought in and laid on the counter for me. I was both puzzled and surprised to find a package addressed to me. Puzzled because the yoga DVD’s I had ordered last week arrived on Saturday and the textbooks for this new term had arrived the week before. So I wasn’t expecting anything.

There was a moment’s pause before I opened it. Though it was addressed to me, the sender was someone who called themselves “Lipstick Librarian” (!??!!) and there was a reference to Ebay. This was definitely not something that I had ordered; I think I’ve only been on Ebay once. So all sorts of things went through my head. My birthday’s not for a couple of months–and as I’m reaching the half-century mark, I’d rather not think about that at the moment–and it’s definitely not Christmas. Sad, in this day and age with so much violence and terrorism, that my next thoughts turned to the anthrax scare of several years ago even as I grabbed a pair of scissors to open the package. Eh, an unexpected package with no known sender? My vivid imagination was in danger of getting the better of me.

Inside was a copy of Rodney Yee’s A.M. Yoga for Beginners in VHS form–just like the one that was eaten last week. Again, sad, I assumed, momentarily, that Gaiam had sent me duplicates. But the package said Ebay and this wasn’t another set of DVD’s. Was I being charged again? I thought briefly of identity theft but usually the victims of such do not receive a gift in exchange. So how did I receive a set of VHS tapes identical to what I’d recently lost? There was no invoice or paperwork of any kind saying where this had come from…or who was “Lipstick Librarian”. So I went online to Ebay. I did find a seller named Lipstick Librarian so this is obviously the name of someone selling merchandise through Ebay but not necessarily the person(s) who sent it to me. I had to create an account on Ebay to find this information…and to find contact info for Ebay. I called Ebay and, I must say, they were very helpful and courteous. The young lady I spoke with suggested that maybe the package had come to me in error. When I reiterated that it was addressed to me, she seemed surprised. She asked if I had an account with her. I told her, “Yes, I just created it 5 minutes ago; that’s how I got your number.” That rocked her even more. She did some checking and assured me I was not being charged for the tapes as they did not have any billing information for me. So, for the moment, it is still a mystery though she assured me that Ebay would look into the matter, contact the seller, and see if they could find out who sent them.

So, now I have a mystery on my hands.

When I went back downstairs after talking to Ebay, Mom and I both agreed that it was definitely too much of a coincidence (of which I don’t believe) that a replacement set of VHS tapes arrived only days after I posted here about losing one of them. I confess, now that the threat of alien abduction is out of the way, I am more than a little touched that someone thought to send them to me. I just wish I knew who it was so that I could thank them personally. However, as it is fairly obvious that the gift was prompted by last week’s posting, I am hoping that this friend is also reading this post today. Thank you very, very much for your kindness and generosity; you made my day! I don’t know if the anonymity was intended or not but it makes the gift all the more special. I don’t know who you are but He does. And I am asking the good Lord to bless your life even more richly than He has mine. I hope that someday the mystery will be answered so I can give you a big hug of thanks; for now, here’s a big cyber hug coming your way.

May God bless you & keep you!

Faith, Gratitude, Homesteading, Religion, Spirituality

Gratitude

Lisa Burbank

First of all, I have to give credit where it is due. The good Lord has blessed my life so richly and I am eternally grateful for the family and friends–both human and humane–who have stood by me through thick and thin. Though there are times when I am tempted to give in to despair, I know He will always bring me through whatever crisis that arises. Sometimes I may not always think so because His plan isn’t exactly according to my plans but, no matter what, He always gives me what I need. Lately, those blessings have been pouring in as each lesson is learned. There’s an old saying that when the pupil is ready, the teacher will arrive. I’m probably paraphrasing that one a bit but the intent is there. He has been bringing me teacher after teacher–and I’m not talking college professors either, despite my recent submersion into acadamia, though I am grateful for each of them and what they’ve taught me each term. It is lessons for living that I am talking about, lessons for getting out of this “stuck” place that I’ve been inhabiting for the last several years and, as my favorite REO Speedwagon song says, “Blazin’ My (your) Own Trail” again.

As I begin my third straight week of blogging, I have received so many words of encouragement and support that I am actually feeling a bit humbled. And thrilled. It is a bit gratifying to know that folks are reading what I’ve written, to know that so many are enjoying it. I’ve also had a number of strangers within the Word Press community start following my blog, some of them reaching out with words of encouragement. I want to thank each and every one of you–friend, family, or new acquaintance–for the kind words and support, for the motivation to keep going. I also want to thank you for your patience as I continue finding my feet in this world of blogging. I know where I want to go but it will take a while to get there.

Of course, while I’m feeling the love and at risk of becoming misty-eyed, I would like to take a few moments to thank a few others who have helped start me on my journey. You see, the last few years have been a bit rough. Financial burdens have definitely taken their toll and I’m still taking 3 steps backwards for every half-step I take forward in getting back on my feet. I’m not complaining, really. I’ve been working with some wonderful people via some financial workshops. One was a partnering between The United Way and the Women’s Business Development Council. I worked with a gentleman named Howard Haberern who definitely helped me to get a better handle on my time management–especially my penchant for always being at least 1/2 hour late to everything. He really helped me to look at this penchant in a different light and I will always be grateful for his guidance, though I confess to silently bristling when he first spoke. I still fall off the wagon from time to time but I am definitely making better strides towards punctuality. I also appreciate the words of encouragement he gave regarding finances, his assurance that it wasn’t my inability to manage money but simply being under-employed. Now that I’m not beating up on myself so bad, my focus is shifting towards the positive and I’m learning to go more with the flow; life always comes in waves. And I know, in time, I will be back on top again. Thank you, Howard! (Not sure if Howard is reading this, but the gratitude is definitely heart-felt)

Last December I decided to take a risk. Though things are still tight, I decided to invest in myself. I have been following the Prolific Living blog by Farnoosh Brock for a couple of years now. I have also been on her emailing list. I’ve participated in a number of free programs that she offers, as well as a small investment back in 2014 in her Positive Affirmations for Life program. Farnoosh is a student of author, Louise Hay, who wrote “You Can Change Your Life” and she has developed a wonderful audio program that I have been listening to almost daily. For those of you not familiar with affirmations, they are simply statements that you say to yourself every day to help overcome negative programming, self-esteem issues, and/or to manifest certain goals. You say everything in the positive. as though it is happening right now. Some examples would be, “I use my skills and talents in the best possible way” or “I am always on time to every event”. Having been battling a bit of depression with my under-employment issues, this program has proven to be a sound investment–as has the Smart Exit Blueprint plan, the program I took a leap of faith into in December. This one has been a bit more of an investment but I have no regrets. It has really helped me to prioritize, to commit to my lifelong goals, and of particular benefit to me, to weed out all of the “busy” work so I can focus more clearly on those goals.

I love writing. But, over the last several years, I have done very little of it because a.) I was always too busy with other stuff to sit down and actually write and b.) I didn’t carve out any specific time each day to write–despite being in a degree program with Southern New Hampshire University to receive a BA in Creative Writing with an Emphasis on Fictional Writing. Thanks to this Smart Exit Blueprint program, I am much more focused on those goals. And here I am writing each morning before most of the rest of New England is even thinking about awakening. (Okay…so I am a little OCD but I’m learning to work with it)

And, before I thank Farnoosh for her excellent program, and the SEB community for their encouragement and support, I do want to say that this “plug” I’ve just given for Farnoosh’s programs is being done independently and not as some sort of required endorsement of either program. Having had a private practice in holistic health in recent years, I know how important positive feedback and word-of-mouth is to a business. It is also my way of giving back a little. This program has real value and I want to share that with my friends and family. If you do the work required, it is worth the investment. We all have dreams. Taking the time to invest in them, to invest in yourself, is worth every effort. If the good Lord has put a dream on your heart, maybe it’s His way of telling you where He wants you to go. I firmly believe that.

Incidentally, the Smart Exit Blueprint is about taking those steps towards doing work that you love…and earning a living from it. You become part of a community where everyone is on a similar journey and so you can support each other. And, what’s nice about the program is that Farnoosh is always actively involved. This isn’t a program where the coordinator/creator comes up with some videos and/or literature and says, “Okay…you’re on your own.” Instead, I received a phone call from Farnoosh when I started and she has answered every email, has answered every question herself in her live webinars. For that I am truly grateful so, Farnoosh, thank you very, very much for this excellent program. Since I started–and I took a lot longer than I thought I would to complete it because this program really made me think and to tackle certain “blocks”, something I was avoiding and, thus, procrastinated on some of the modules–but I’ve definitely taken some strides forward, strides I’m not sure I would have taken, not sure I would have had the courage to take before this program. Some of them include starting a crowdfunding campaign to help start a potential business; contacting a career advisor through SNHU, who has helped me to connect with others in the writing industry, especially, those for the environment; I started blogging; I’ve been taking some baby steps towards developing my homestead and, though it has little to do with either writing or goat wrangling, I’ve found a bit of creative genius inside that has had me painting and drawing again. I actually started a mural in my home office that I know will eventually prove to be an effective vision board (it’s a work in process…just like homesteading). Anyway, I’m not sure I would have shifted my focus to art at all if I hadn’t worked on Module 3 and discovered my passions. Again, thank you very much, Farnoosh, and to all the SEB community! I am honored to be part of such a community.

And, at the risk of this looking like the acknowledgements in the inside of a book or CD sleeve, there are some individuals that have gone above and beyond the call of duty in helping me on my journey: Mom, Shaun & Stef & the girls–my immediate family is always there…they may not always “get” me, but they love me anyway; ditto for extended family; especially Auntie Cheryl for the girls’ days, the holiday dinners and for always being my surrogate big “sister”; to Unc & Cousins, too, for everything; Aunt Sandy and Uncle George–the two of you are so very special to me, I wish we lived closer to each other; Aunt Debbie and Aunt Sandy D. for helping me when I was down and out; Aunt Donna for caring enough to go to therapy with me; to Aunt Judi, I am so happy to have you in my life again, to be in touch again–growing up, you always made learning fun; to Karen, Donna, and Mary–having 3 best friends is wealth, indeed; and I have a wealth of friends everywhere who make my life so special. No, I’m not planning on going anywhere, nor am I near any tragic anniversaries…just expressing my gratitude for each of you. I don’t always express my appreciation. Of course, there are many others who are no longer here physically to thank but the gratitude is no less for the gifts they have given me in life. Of life. And, of course, once I hit “publish”, I will likely remember skeighty-eight hundred more that I would like to thank for their encouragement and support through the years. My apologies to you all; your blessings are just as greatly appreciated and you are loved beyond your ability to comprehend.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Alcoholism, Faith, Frugality, Gratitude, Holistic Health, Nature, Religion, Spirituality, Yoga & Fitness

Recognizing the Little Miracles

Lisa Burbank

This morning 3:30 was a bit of a struggle. My body isn’t quite settling down to sleep at the earlier bedtime needed to support such an early rising. But I know it won’t be much longer. I feel myself waking up just minutes before the alarm and I am waking up on my own. This morning–barely! I was tempted to make a quick trip downstairs to the loo and then give in to the temptation to go back to bed for another hour…or two. But I drew a deep breath, pulled on the big girl pants and got on the yoga mat instead.

And my favorite yoga video–A.M. Yoga for Beginners with Rodney Yee (Gaiam)–broke. I popped the VHS tape (yes, it is that old, that beloved) into the VCR (yes, I still have one–two, actually) and there were all these squiggly lines across the TV screen (the TV is an analog, btw…) then the VCR actually shut off and ejected the tape–almost. It would only come out so far. So I turned the VCR back on and pushed it back in, hit rewind. It rewound. I hit play. More squiggly lines and, after another moment or two, the VCR shut off again, spitting out the tape; again, halfway. So I tried to extract it. And the tape snapped. Judging by the accordian-like folds in it, it has seen its better days.

Normally, I would throw a little temper tantrum; the peace of my day would’ve been totally spoiled. This would be “proof” that I should have gone with my first instinct and gone back to bed. But I think the combination of Al-Anon daily literature and Positive Affirmations for Life, “Affirmations for Living a Complaint-Free Life” (Farnoosh Brock) program is finally being absorbed somewhere in the DNA, or at least the psyche, because I had only a fleeting moment of calmly thinking “That sucks” and then I reached for a lesser-used yoga video, “Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners” with Suzanne Deason (Gaiam). It proved to be a nice change of pace and helped release some of the shoulder tension I had been holding onto. I remembered why it has also been a bit of a favorite of mine and I came away from that half hour feeling totally relaxed and energized…which is how one should feel after a yoga workout. So there’s the first little miracle of my day. I overcame a personal, well, not exactly a hang-up but I didn’t allow this little hiccough to overshadow everything else. I didn’t view it as “the end of the world”. (It’s funny because I usually maintain calm in major calamities (i.e. true crises) but its the little things like this that usually frustrate and irritate me to no end)

However, as I sat down to pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, I started thinking that replacing it with the DVD version probably wouldn’t be all that expensive; I would really miss this video. It’s a very gentle series of stretches that really wake up the body-mind, helping me to focus. And, without it, those times when I’ve been lazy and given into that temptation to catch another hour or two of sleep, I find my joints really starting to ache. Yoga, in general, has been like food and water for me–I need it to feel healthy and strong each day. Again, I would really miss this one. So, despite trying to keep my spending to the barest minimum, it would be worth the investment. After my prayers, affirmations, Mind Movies (Natalie Ledwell), and meditation (another small miracle–I reined in my usual impulsive nature), I went online to http://www.gaiam.com and looked to see if this video was even still available. It was given to me in 2002 by a friend so it is at least 15 years old but, apparently, it is a popular seller because Gaiam still carries it.

And here’s the third little miracle of my day: Gaiam is hosting a big sale of their DVD’s. You could buy 4 DVD sets (i.e. more than one DVD in each) for just under $19. I had mentally budgeted myself that if A.M. Yoga for Beginners was over $30, I would just have to make due without it. Now I have 3 other DVD sets coming with it; should be here in a few days. Even with shipping and handling, I didn’t exceed the $30 cap. And this actually answered another longing in my heart. I’ve been thinking I would like to try some new yoga routines and here I have several coming to me. Proof that He really does give us what we need…and maybe even a few of the things we want. Earlier this week, my favorite juices, bananas, frozen strawberries, and Sunbutter (for making smoothies) all went on sale at Big Y–and that seems to be a regular thing. When I really need something, He provides a sale so that I can afford it.

I’m going to shoot for the stars now. With a little help from above, maybe someone will have a sale on a good pair of walking sneakers in the not-so-distant future. A little cardio would be a good thing and I have 20 lbs. extra to shed. You never know. Little miracles occur every day. And these are just the material. If we look closely enough, we may begin to see those little miracles everywhere. I’m going to keep looking for those little miracles. And be grateful for each and every one of them.

May God bless you & keep you!