Abuse, Books, Creativity, God/Jesus, Homesteading, Scripture, Writing

Making Every Moment Count

“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)

To the best of my knowledge, I’m healthy and hearty, but I have been spending an inordinate amount of time struggling to concede my age…and, maybe something more detrimental to my mental and emotional well-being: fixating on chances missed throughout this lifetime. It’s that “if-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now” syndrome. And, if it’s not really a “syndrome”, it ought to be.

I alluded to this a little bit in yesterday’s post. It was focused completely on finances but, paying yourself first (after tithing, of course) should also be a *thing* when it comes to future goals.

The first thing I do every morning now is write…or at least that’s the goal each day. I don’t always succeed, but I do a lot better with keeping a writing habit in the morning than I do in the evening…especially if I don’t have a thesis holding my backside to the fire.

It was while I was working on that thesis that I started fixating on those missed chances. Why didn’t I do this writing degree thing 30 years ago when I was younger? Why did I allow another’s abuse to broadside me away from my dreams? If I had finished this book a decade or two ago, so many loved ones would still be here to read it. I can only hope they’re smiling down from heaven now, cheering me on. But I wish I could’ve shared it with them while they were here.

Ditto for my homesteading dreams. In this case, and maybe with my writing, too, I keep waiting for the perfect conditions. Or I’ll tell myself all month that with my next paycheck I’ll pick up XYZ for the garden, the kitchen, to streamline some project, etc. And then payday comes and goes and my inner-Martha comes out and my focus turns more to the day-to-day. Nothing wrong with that…except another month comes and goes and I’m no closer to that one little goal I set for myself. Slow and steady wins the race, but I also have to keep moving towards that goal…or it’ll be another dream never realized.

There’s a string of them behind me. I’m sure most people reading this will have them, too.

And, yes, this is where I remind myself of two great ladies I’ve mentioned in the past: “Grandma” Mary Moses, who didn’t sell her first painting until she was 78 years old (and lived to be 102!), and “Grandma” Emma Gatewood, who became the first woman to hike the Appalachian Trail alone at the age of 67 and is the first person to ever hike three times.

I’m not too old. And it’s not too late to have a successful career as a writer. It’s also not too late to develop a thriving homestead.

However, I do have to take those steps. That’s where the paying-myself-first advice comes in. It may only be something small, but at least it’s something. It’s a step in the right direction.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” (Henry David Thoreau)

What dreams are on your heart today? And what steps are you taking to meet them? I’d be delighted if you’d share them in the comments.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Alcoholism, Appreciation, Emergency Preparedness, Finances, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Homesteading, Prepping

Preparing for the Future

“Wealth gathered hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” (Proverbs 13:11)

I am not fully recovered financially from the past decade or so of financial hardship, but there’s definitely an upward climb for which I am grateful. Until very recently the focus has been on simply paying down debt and earning enough to keep home and hearth together.

However, I am mindful of the journey that started in 2008. Like so many people, I was seriously impacted by the Great Recession. Despite having a 401K account, a savings (albeit a modest one), a budget, and a modest amount of debt outside of my mortgage, I still got clubbed at the knees. How much worse was the recession for people without those benefits and resources? And, just when I thought I was getting back on my feet, I got clubbed at the knees again in 2019 with an injury.

Today’s inflation bites. I don’t care what the reason for it is…well, except for the impact it may have on who I vote for in a few weeks. But, for those who are still struggling to recover from the recession (which is almost everyone), there really is an underlying amount of stress controlling our every financial decision.

So, suggesting that we learn to save, even if it’s just the change in your pocket each week in a jar, may seem like a laugh. But even change adds up.

In my case, I can’t say if it stems from growing up with alcoholism and abuse in the house or not, but I have a bad habit of waiting until the end of the month to put something away for that rainy day instead of paying myself first. I wonder if the $20-$30 that I can afford right now seems too small to make much of a difference so why bother?

Yes, it does seem that the minute you save a few bucks, the kids get sick or the pets do, the car hiccoughs in a threatening way and there goes whatever ground you feel like you’ve gained.

But what if you were saving that $20 a week/biweekly (whatever you can afford) all along? Sure, you may have only saved $100 by the time this thing reared its ugly head, but it would be $100 easier to face. $100 less of feeling victimized. And, if enough time elapsed between those hiccoughs, there would be even more to lesson that feeling.

It’s the bigger picture that I’m looking at. It’s also the whole reason I’ve turned to homesteading and prepping. What happens with the next plandemic? What happens with the next supply chain lapse? What happens if the WEF succeeds in orchestrating those 15 minute cities? If we’re not herded into them like sheep, I really do want that off-grid homestead up on a mountain somewhere. Having ready cash on hand is a way of reducing our vulnerability to whatever life hands us.

So, I’m making a vow to myself to set aside some amount each month for that rainy day. It doesn’t have to be a lot. I have to quit looking at that $20, that $10 bill, that jar of change as something pathetic, but rather hopeful. Because every little bit really does make a difference. Next paycheck that $10 becomes $20 or $20 becomes $40 and so on and so forth until we can draw a deeper breath each night before bedtime…and thank God even for the small blessings.

May God bless you & keep you!

19th century, Community, Friendship, gardening, Herbs, Homesteading, Minimalism, Nature, No-dig Gardening, Plants, Prepping, Scripture, Tradition, Wild Edibles

Locusts and Honey

“Now John wore a garment of camel’s hair and a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey.” (Matthew 3:4)

I see John the Baptist as more of the doomsday prepper type than a homesteader in the Bible, yet his simple lifestyle as described in Matthew 3 above serves as an inspiration to anyone who walks this path. “Simple” is the operative word. We don’t need much. We don’t need fancy gadgets or expensive anything. We need the basics of food, clothing, and shelter, and as we walk this walk, we find our tribe, our community of support. That’s important, too.

I found a member of that tribe many years ago when I worked in living history. We’ve never “hung out” together. Rare have we socialized outside of our shared living history employment, but we also share a passion for growing food and medicine, and living a simpler life. He was my mentor when I served as a volunteer docent in the herb garden there. And he taught me a lot.

This weekend, Mom, Robert and I traveled over an hour and 20 minutes (in New England, that’s a long drive…chuckle!) to listen to a talk of his about preserving the harvest without electricity. Using time-honored practices of root cellaring, fermenting, and drying, he reminded me of so much that I had learned while working in living history, but he also had some modern adaptations for those of us without a root cellar. Who knew an old Styrofoam cooler filled with damp leaves could be just as effective, if not better, than a wooden box in a basement filled with wet sand for preserving carrots and parsnips?

However, the real reason we drove all that way (Bless you, Robert, for piloting that drive!) wasn’t so much about the talk, though that was informative and interesting. Instead, it was to pick up some seeds for planting here at The Herbal Hare Tomestead (No, that’s not a typo; writer & librarian here).

You see, Rich worked for the American Chestnut Foundation (ACF) for many years helping to revive and restore the American Chestnut, which was decimated by chestnut blight, a fungal disease that spread quickly throughout our Eastern forests in the early-20th century, making it extremely difficult for the trees to reproduce, migrate and evolve. ACF has been working towards a blight-resistant American chestnut tree for many years (learn more here: https://tacf.org).

Roasted chestnuts are delicious. Though a tree nut, they taste a bit like a baked sweet potato. They’re also good for you. They’re a great source of fiber, which is good for digestion. They can help control blood sugar levels as they are low on the glycemic index. They contain antioxidants and minerals, such as magnesium and potassium, which can reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke, and manganese, which can reduce the risk of cancer. They also contain copper to strengthen our bones and give a boost to the immunity system, and are loaded with B vitamins, which can help balance our nervous system and improve our brain function. They’re also gluten-free and help reduce inflammation.

Chestnuts were an important food in generations’ past. One healthy tree can produce, on average, up to 60 lbs. of nuts per year when fully mature (at about 20 years), but they start producing as early as 3-5 years. Hence, my desire to plant some here.

The Herbal Hare Tomestead is quite small at the moment (just under 1 acre). I don’t have room for the traditional fields of corn or wheat or rye (although I may grow a small patch of the latter at some point; more on that later). At present, I’m working towards raised beds for much of my herbs and vegetables, and a possible food forest where there is an overgrown half-acre filled with invasive species, such as Norway maples, Oriental bittersweet and Japanese knotweed. These last will have to be dealt with before planting, and maintained so they do not grow back, but the vision I have is possible with a lot of careful planning. I’m looking forward to the challenge.

I doubt I’ll be eating any locusts anytime soon (although I’ve heard they’re also delicious when roasted), but raising honey bees again is also part of the plan. And a food forest? Well, what better way to prep?

May God bless you & keep you!

Appreciation, Books, Christianity, Creativity, Faith, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Homesteading, Writing

Catching Up

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

So it’s been a little over a year since, by the grace of God, I was able to turn the mortgage right side up again. Of course, I now owe more than the home is worth, but I no longer fear phone calls or a knock on the door. Nobody is likely coming to evict me. And that’s a huge relief–praise the Lord!

Life as a librarian is way more involved and multifaceted than I could have ever imagined…in a very good way. I laughingly tell everyone that I am now using every skill from nearly every job, or pet interest, that I have ever had. The exception is forklift driving, but it’s only been 2 years since I took over as director. We are looking to build a bigger facility in the not-so-distant future so maybe they’ll have need of a forklift driver in the building process. It could happen…just saying.

Actually, being a librarian has its perks. We now host a weekly story time for the kids, a Knitting & Crocheting Club (I am still abysmally slow at knitting…), both an adult Book Club and an adult Writer’s Workshop (my favorite for obvious reasons), as well as a Juvenile Book Club and Young Writer’s Club. It’s been incredibly rewarding.

I graduated on August 1, 2024 with my Master’s degree in Creative Writing. The first draft of the working title: Familiar Witch is complete and, after a quick revision from my professor’s editing notes, I will be sending it off to my beta readers…and likely doing another revision of it once each of them is finished reading the rough draft and giving their opinions on how to strengthen the story. My story actually proved to be a trilogy; “Ivy” and “Moz’s” story is far from over. But I’m thinking of toying with a few other ideas in the meantime. Any revisions to Book 1 might require revisions to Books 2 & 3, which would be a daunting task to say the least.

Lastly, I am once again looking at homesteading. I’m planning to start right here with what I already have. If He provides a way for me to move and expand, I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity. But I won’t pass up the chance to grow and thrive here first. I want to show Him that I can manage what He’s already given before I ask for more. I’ve spent the last 20+ years not wanting to invest the time here, viewing this as too small and restrictive to the larger plans in my head. (I think it was Mother Teresa who said, “You want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.) As I’ve done over and again for the last couple of years, I’m turning over the “keys” to my heart, and especially my life, to Him. His plan is far greater than anything I could ever imagine.

It’s good to be back. It’s good to be contemplating ways to grow and expand this community…if it even still exists. It’s good to be looking towards the future again. Whatever it holds, I know He’s in control. And knowing that is worth every hardship and hiccough in life that I’ve experienced over the last, well, almost decade.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Well, maybe not…what doesn’t kill you makes your faith stronger because He makes all things new.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Christianity, Chronic Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Compassion, God/Jesus, Healing, Holistic Health, Homesteading, Human rights, Humanity First, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Politics, Scripture

Right and Left

“A wise man’s heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool’s heart toward the left.” (Ecclesiastes 10-2)

Yeah, I confess, I might’ve been listening more to the little guy with the pitchfork seated on my left shoulder when I posted this line of Scripture on social media the other day rather than the guy with the angel’s wings on the right. I certainly heard a rather devilish snicker.

But it’s funny how He works.

The Lord can take even our less than stellar motives, actions, etc. and still use them for His good. Sometimes it’s just to shine the light on something.

You see, back in 2020, I often shared the most hateful and cruel memes designed to slander and poke fun at then-President Donald Trump. I had bought into the mainstream media narrative that he was the second coming of Hitler and he should be banished from all society. And every time, that man with the pitchfork not only snickered, but wrung his hands in glee. No, Mr. Trump is far from perfect. And he’s certainly done some questionable things.

But so have I.

And so have you.

We all fall short of the glory of God. Because we’re human, not God. We may strive to be Christ-like, and that’s truly worth striving for. In fact, it’s the only goal worth obtaining. But, as we take those steps closer to Him, it’s also important to remember that others are on the same journey…and we should be cheering them on, not tearing them down. Still more have never even started that journey and what example are we setting to lead them along with us? We’re all sinners. And He loves each. And every. One of us.

Including former-President Donald Trump.

Now, fast forward to 2024. After much reflection, and having watched countless interviews and speeches from Mr. Trump, I’m no longer with CNN and MSNBC when they crucify him daily for things they give others a Pasadena for. Heck, they even blamed him for getting shot in the ear. Seriously? How much of their hateful vituperative has led to, I think we’re at, three attempts on the man’s life? Words matter. And they can have deadly consequences. Whatever we think of Mr. Trump and his policies, he is somebody’s husband, father, grandfather.

Today, though I voted for her and Biden in 2020, I don’t believe Kamala Harris is the answer. She flip flops on too many issues that I believe she will flip flop back against if elected (gun buy backs, fracking, defunding the police). But I try not to sling any hate at her as I did Donald Trump in 2020. Do I succeed? Obviously not. The barely veiled snicker over a line of Scripture that was clearly used for political reasons proves it. Instead of memes, I try to share videos that shine a light on her record as a DA, an AG, and VP. What has she done? What hasn’t she done that maybe she should have? I.e. I try to keep it about policy, accomplishments and failures, not her person. Again, I don’t always succeed. But that is the goal I strive for. And I try to remain cognizant that she is somebody’s wife, stepmother, sister.

Words matter.

But here’s the thing: despite my recent lack of decorum, He’s using this to shine a light right back on my behavior from 2020. The same staunch Democrat friends who gloated and then waged an attack on my Republican friends and family members in 2020 when I shared memes that were insulting and hurtful to them, slapped back against me and my post with mockery, sarcasm, and in some cases, even verbal abuse. They *got* the dig for which the sharing of this line of Scripture was intended against the “Left” or Democrat party.

And that’s not what His word was intended for.

However, He is using this lapse, not only to shine a light on my behavior, but to point to the same insidious behavior that has plagued our society since the creation of social media: the lack of accountability and loss of humanity in our responses to people we cannot see on the other side of the keyboard. We forget that they are friends and neighbors, family and co-workers. And, even when others are ugly about things, the rest of us shouldn’t respond with more ugliness. No politician is going to step in and stop the divide. They want our votes. It is up to us to step up to the plate and remember the hearts and minds that have blessed our lives in the past, and continue to bless our lives today.

Because God loves each and every one of us. Always.

Does this mean I won’t share anymore memes? Probably not. But it’s about policy this time, not the person.

For me, I cheered when Roe v. Wade was overturned and the abortion issue was returned to individual states to decide. It’s a lie that the more conservative states won’t perform a D&C to save a mother’s life. But this is another blog post in the making…and I’ll never solve the dilemma on my own and will only stir up hatred and anger and even violence if I continue to pursue it. But that’s where I stand on the abortion “rights” issue.

I also cheered when both Robert Kennedy, Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard endorsed Donald Trump. I’m tired of seeing so many people struggling with chronic health issues (myself included) due to the poison that’s in our food, our water, our soil, our so-called “medicine”, etc. I hope Mr. Trump follows through in giving them each a place in his administration next January. I hope Mr. Kennedy, alongside Senator Rand Paul, does a thorough investigation into Dr. Fauci and the NIH regarding gain-of-function research once Mr. Trump is in office again. I also don’t want to have to place the word “organic” in front of my food anymore. I want cruelty-free and organic practices to be put into place throughout every aspect of farming. I would like to retain the right to grow and raise my own food and medicines, but I also want to see healthy, wholesome food available in the grocery store, or market, for every single person on this planet. And I believe Mr. Kennedy would do everything possible to make that happen if he’s allowed that place in another Trump administration.

Lastly, I see far too many parallels in this transgender movement that is targeting minors and the pedophilia I grew up as a child. Both ask children to make life-altering decisions about their bodies before they’re mature enough to truly understand the consequences. Yes, gender dysphoria is a real thing. But it’s also true that, depending on your source, 75%-90% of those diagnosed with it, outgrow it once they’re through puberty. It breaks my heart to see otherwise healthy young girls having full mastectomies…especially when I consider the trauma every woman who has ever had to have one to save her life from breast cancer experiences. How is mutilating young bodies an answer? How is rendering any child sterile from having children of their own someday an answer? Far too many who have detransitioned have found that they do not go into a late puberty but, for many young women, they go straight into menopause. How is that okay?

So those are the rocks I stand on…that, and I’d like to stop seeing Christians mocked and derided and denied the same 1st Amendment rights that other religions enjoy in this country. But He did say the world will hate us because we are His.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Appreciation, Books, Christianity, Exhaustion, Family, Fiber Arts, Friendship, gardening, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Herbs, Homesteading, Plants, Prayer, Prepping, Reading, Religion, Sleep Deprivation, Spinning, Straw Braiding, Weaving, Writing, Yoga & Fitness

Keeping It Simple

“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

I’m feeling my age…and the stress of the past year: navigating, and eventually, mitigating foreclosure; the loss of my beloved aunt and uncle; new job position that I absolutely love but, it also keeps me hopping with an ever-changing schedule; thesis courses demanding 15,000 new words to my first novel to be turned in every 4 weeks. And now, another beloved aunt struggling with health issues. I also have a cat under veterinary care right now and a geriatric goat with some special needs. To say that I am spent would be putting it mildly.

And yet, on the upside, through His grace, I have successfully navigated foreclosure and, at least for the moment, am keeping my home. I am blessed beyond measure to have aunts and uncles that I can call “beloved”. I am also blessed beyond measure in a still-tanking job market to have the job that I do. There’s a certain thrill to see the story in my head and in my heart coming out on paper. And it’s another kind of blessing to have pets to share my world, to care for each day.

But I’m still spent.

I stood up one of my best friends this week for an event that she and I were supposed to attend together. She was worried something bad might’ve happened. Then I forgot I had agreed to cover as Lector last week for a fellow parishioner. Father Ben teased me about it. He wasn’t angry, but I was angry with myself…for both instances.

I either need to simplify, or get better organized. Perhaps it’s a little of both. An accountability partner would be a blessing right now, too, but I can’t have everything…

“The Dream” section of this blog/website is still in my heart. Every time I think of simplifying, another point from that bulleted outline rears up and says, “Don’t forget me!”. And I don’t.

Still, there’s a shifting inside that is looking to modify it a little…at least until I’m through with college.

I’ve blogged before about how I overfill my time. I tend to have “scatter syndrome” from too much “busyness”. I forget things like dates with friends, additional commitments, and even prayer. The flip side is, if I simplify too much, the brain turns to mush and the forgetfulness increases, rather than decreases. I need to find that sweet balance.

Or a staycation where I can do some much-needed spring cleaning that’s nagging at me and get better organized.

But, back to simplifying…if I stay right here in northeastern Connecticut, then The Herbal Hare may get whittled down to what everyone sees in the icon: Bunnies, herbs, and honeybees. I’ve already determined, unless I do find that place in Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire…or Missouri, then Felicity will be my last goat, and the few chickens and ducks I have left, also the last.

And does that ever cut!

But my life has become an endless litany of sacrifices. I sacrifice time with friends to keep up on my studies. I sacrifice writing time to help out somewhere. I sacrifice things like yoga, exercise, time with this blog, etc. to “catch up” on some much needed sleep. And then I beat myself up for not “making” the time for these other things. In short, with my time–and I have only 24 hours a day like everyone else–I am perpetually robbing Peter to pay Paul.

So, it’s time to prioritize. And then, once I’ve graduated, I can re-evaluate.

My priorities are likened to those times that prove, or have proven, to be the most satisfying to my soul:

Time spent in prayer.

Saturday evenings playing cards and Scrabble with Mom.

Chatting with my brother, sister-in-law and nieces on the phone.

Outings with friends to hike through the park, peruse the bookstore, visit a museum, share a meal.

Family get togethers.

Time spent on the water, either cruising the lake on my uncle’s pontoon, or sharing the paddle boat with a cousin or two.

Walks with my dogs…when I had dogs.

Bunny-time…when I had rabbits, the time spent each night in their room letting them free-range outside of their cages. Sometimes I would simply read while they stretched their legs. Most of the time, I laughed at their antics…especially when the cats joined in and all of them played and cuddled together.

When I worked in living history museums, the mornings spent walking through the herb garden I was in charge of with a cuppa tea in hand, deciding what “chores” needed to be done today while stopping to inhale the scents of my favorite plants.

Working in the garden.

Making tinctures, salves, decoctions, infusions, or spice blends.

Spinning wool into yarn, filling the niddy-noddy with it, or weaving new cloth.

Braiding straw with which to make hats.

A whole Sunday spent cooking and baking for the week.

Watching honeybees at work gathering their nectar.

Time spent in the barnyard.

Reading a passage of a book, or story, that I’ve written that came out particularly well.

Reading a good book.

Spending my early mornings with a cuppa tea and working on a blog post.

And, one of the most satisfying moments of my life was about 10 years’ ago. I cooked a simple meal of pasta, salad and bread, topped it off with a cup of hot chocolate. The pasta sauce had come from tomatoes I’d grown from seed and canned. Most of the salad fixings came from my own garden. The bread was made from scratch. And even the marshmallow I’d placed in my hot chocolate had been made from scratch. It was that feeling of accomplishment.

The new job has those moments, too, especially when I’m hosting a writer’s workshop, or a book club, or a knitting/crocheting group and that sense of community ensues.

These are the things that fill me with peace, things I long to get back to. And, anything in The Dream, or in present life, that does not lead me to one (or all) of these ends, will have to go. That’s a tall order, but it’s one worth filling.

May God bless you & keep you!

Appreciation, Books, Christianity, Faith, Finances, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Homesteading, Prayer, Religion, Scripture, Spirituality, Writing

Vows

“When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.” (Ecclesiastes 5:4)

I’ve made a few vows over the years. You know how it is. You get down on your luck, the path forward turns bumpy and harsh. You start that wheeling and dealing thing with God: “If You will help me with x, I will do y.”

He saved my homestead last summer. My vow was to shout my gratitude from the rooftops if He did. Yes, I’ve expressed my gratitude openly in person with friends and family members. But I’ve been remiss regarding my blog.

Yes, the blog still needs work. There are still some posts that I’d like to take down, posts that do not serve either my own purposes, this community’s, or likely, even God’s anymore. They’re mostly of a political or social nature and will better serve the community over at my “other” blog…in time. Others are repetitious laments cried out during last year’s battle against foreclosure but, in this case, I feel like maybe they do serve a purpose: they’re a reminder of the spiritual, physical and financial rut that I was mired in for far too long. They’re also a reminder of where He’s been leading me since. How can I not express gratitude for such a humbling experience? And how can I not lay credit at the feet of the One who led me through that quagmire…and out the backside of it?

As always, I am very careful not to mention by name my place of employment. Suffice to say, if you’re new to this blog, that in addition to being a writer, blogger, herbalist and homesteader, I am also a library director. And I absolutely LOVE what I do! That’s a blessing I never expected. Nor did I ever expect to be using nearly every skill I’ve ever learned in life to fulfill that responsibility: inventory management, cataloging, historical interpretation, writing, research, budgeting. I’m even teaching American Sign Language to our Juvenile Book Club members. That’s a good feeling. I work with a great bunch of people, too, and that’s even more of a blessing.

In addition to work, I have two more classes before I graduate with my MFA in Creative Writing. These last couple of classes are intense, to say the least. My thesis is the completion of my first novel. And, as such, I am obligated to write 15,000 new words to turn in every 4 weeks. I really didn’t think I had it in me but, once I got myself into a better writing “habit”, as they say, well, I can’t say it was easy, but it’s certainly better. I actually look forward to writing each day. Praise the Lord for that one!

On the home front, I haven’t done much by way of homesteading. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons that a.) I haven’t kept up with my writing here and b.) I’ve been so repetitive in my posts. Not to belittle the very real stress and anxiety associated with the foreclosure process, but I haven’t invested the time needed to make this a working homestead.

And it will be.

There’s still a zoning issue to clear. Or perhaps just throw in the towel on doing so here and, once my credit score is back up again, look into selling and then buying something where the zoning won’t be an issue. Or, another possibility is to scale back on that big dream of mine–not giving it up entirely, but making it more manageable.

Of course, God doesn’t plan small so maybe I shouldn’t either…just look at Job.

And there’s the thing that I am truly shouting for joy over: that little piece inside of my soul that can finally rest and wait for the Lord to act. It’s His will, not my own. What does He want me to do? More importantly, this knowing that I can give it all to Him to carry. I no longer have to.

I praise Him both in the storm…and in the calm.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Bereavement, Christianity, Exhaustion, Faith, Family, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Healing, Holidays, Homesteading

Goodbye 2023

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Another year winding down to a close. This is often, in my mind at least, a time to reflect upon the year that’s passing.

I’ve been shying away from that.

It’s been a tough year filled with uncertainty…and some losses that have cut me to the bone. Yet it’s also been a year that’s filled me with hope…even as my prayer life has hit one of those dead zones.

This time last year I was staring down the face of foreclosure, scared silly I’d lose my babies, the cat, goat, chicken and duck “babies” that share this homestead with Mom and I. I wasn’t even sure where Mom and I were going to go if we lost the home. I promised myself–and Him–that if He saved my home again, I would shout His praises from the rooftop. There’s been a praise and song in my heart, but I’ve retreated so far inward, well, I’m hoping the Bible studies I’m taking on Wednesday nights at church will help me navigate this spiritual desert. Right now everything is just numb…yet maybe a little raw, too.

This time last year we also had intermittent running water. Then from April until late-July we didn’t have any running water at all. Praise God–and Robert–for helping us get the water back on. And my heart was truly singing during and after that first hot shower in a very long time!

Of course, New Year’s Eve is always that time when I remember those I’ve lost throughout the year. Close to home, we lost Mountain Dew Duck, Jeep the Rooster, Faith, the last of our Plymouth Barred Rock chickens, and our sweet and lovable Nigerian Dwarf goat, Chester. Also, Herman the barn cat disappeared about a month ago. He’s been gone before, but usually not more than a few days, a week at best. Herman was incredibly shy. We tried capturing him, but he knew what a live trap was and avoided it like the plague.

On the human side, in April I also lost my Aunt Sandy, which if you’ve been following my blog, you probably saw the post about that. Her husband, my Uncle George, followed her in July. I might be able to find something metaphoric in the times of their passing vs. the water shutting completely off and then, praise the Lord, coming back on. However, it’s too great a mental exercise right now.

You see, this has been my time to weep, to mourn, to give up (or, in my case, give it up (to God!)), to be silent. It’s been the worry over the home; the stress of so many repairs and replacements; the grief…this last is the hardest. And now the feeling of being overwhelmed as I try to clean up, shape up, pick up the pieces and move on…while also in the midst of the first of three thesis classes. Go figure!

Then just before Christmas, a friend of a friend found mention on the probate court website of another friend’s estate. Duncan had not been heard from since August and we had been very worried about him. He lived alone and he wasn’t returning phone calls. A few visits to his home showed no one was there and no one had contacted my friend to let him know what happened. Whether Duncan passed away at home, or later in a hospital, we may never know. He was never a visitor to the homestead, but his best friend is, and his loss is still felt.

Despite all of this, all of the struggles and the losses of family and friends, both human and humane, I truly do feel blessed. Blessed to have shared at least part of my life with everyone mentioned here…and I praise God for those who are still here to share this life with me. Here’s to hoping 2024 will be a much happier year!

May God bless you & keep you!

19th century, Books, Christianity, Community, gardening, Gratitude, Homesteading, Plants, Reading, Social Media, Writing

New Horizons

“Therefore thus saith the Lord, ‘If thou return, then will I bring thee again, and thou shalt stand before me: and if thou take forth the precious from the vile, though shalt be as my mouth: let them return unto thee, but return not thou unto them.” (Jeremiah 15:19)

I learned my lesson long ago not to talk too much about my “day” job(s). I’ve mentioned a time or two about being promoted to the directorship of a local public library, but I never mention that library by name. Though there’s nothing controversial about homesteading or herbs, still, I’m careful not to use their name whenever I post.

And I’m sticking to that rule.

However, though this has very little to do with homesteading outside of being the financial means in keeping that homestead running, I keep finding myself amazed at how many of the skills learned throughout the years that are being put to use here.

In the last year, I’ve put to use the budgeting and clerical skills learned at so many previous jobs; I’ve designed flyers and brochures, as I’ve done on the side for local businesses, and I create content almost daily for the library’s social media page. My master gardener skills have come into play in creating flower arrangements in the containers bracketing our front stairs. We’re housed in an old building so all of the interpreting and/or tour guide skills cultivated in more recent years have come to the fore. The workflow/coding skills I used in corporate America have their counterpart in catalogging books, and other materials, for the library. Even long ago inventory management skills get put to use in keeping track of everything we have to offer on our shelves. The only thing missing is the forklift!

This morning I started our first writer’s workshop. Despite advertising it on our Facebook page, so far, it’s been a bust. But I’m not dismayed. It’s only the first day and I’ll do my best to promote it more going forward. Ditto for the knitting and crocheting group that meets every 2nd Monday each month, and the book club that meets the 1st Monday each month. Perhaps the time isn’t good for many (10:00 a.m. for the workshop; 3 p.m. for the yarn and book clubs). I may have to tweak it going forward. But it’s lovely being able to share such skills and build a community from it. It’s lovely being able to offer programs like this to my neighbors. And, in time, I feel confident, each program will grow.

As will others I have planned for the future.

I may be the only one doing a free writing to warm up this morning, but I can easily envision a table surrounded by fellow writers, bloggers, poets, and bards.

Here’s to looking to the bright side of life and anticipating new horizons, a new future…and not just for myself, though I’m chuffed to start this new program, but for this warm and wonderful community I am privileged to serve each week.

May God bless you & keep you!

19th century, Animals, Appreciation, Christianity, Emergency Preparedness, Finances, Friendship, Homesteading, Minimalism, Nostalgia, Poverty, Prayer, Scripture

Coming Out of the Darkness

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalms 46:1-3)

Phew! The last three weeks have been a whirlwind of plumbers, notaries, electricians, lawyers, well-drilling technicians, and mortgage lenders…fits, starts, stops, highs and lows.

The good news is we now have safe and reliable running water again. We’ve been doing the bowl bath thing, heating the bottled water that I purchased every couple of days at Walmart and washing up that way…since November 2021 (Yes, you read that correctly!). To say that first warm shower last Wednesday felt ambrosial is an understatement. And I dare say, my infatuation with 19th century living has been tempered a bit. Had I the infrastructure of our ancestors, such as a pump at the kitchen sink, it might not have been quite so bad, but I’m not complaining. I feel like a lady of luxury these days (Thank you, Jesus…and a very special shout of “thanks” to Sir Robert the Welcome!).

Granted, we did have running cold water until April of this year. It wasn’t safe to drink but, we could at least fill kettles, pots and pans at the sink to heat for dishes and bathing so the cost to refill gallon jugs at Walmart was somewhat manageable…even if it was a pain you-know-where.

It actually feels strange not to have to stop every few days, not to have a mountain of empty jugs piled up in a box on the back seat to refill, not to have to look for an empty grocery cart nearby to haul those 15-20 empty gallon jugs into the store when I park my car. I keep thinking I’m forgetting something. Again, I’m not complaining. But what a habit to maintain out of necessity!

Thursday morning there was a moment of panic when I noted the lonely little gallon jug in the corner and I still hadn’t fed the goats, chickens, and ducks their breakfast, which always includes a refill of clean water. I barely stopped myself from berating myself for not stopping the night before for refills. The feeling of wonder when I remembered to turn on the tap and watched clear, cool water run out into their buckets must’ve been akin to what our ancestors felt when indoor plumbing was first invented.

And it’s amazing how He works. Despite all of our financial difficulties, somehow we always managed to have enough to buy in the water we needed. He always provided…even if we did rob Peter to pay Paul a few times. I’m feeling truly blessed right now.

There really isn’t any bad news, not even where mortgage lenders, attorneys and notaries are concerned. It’s just frustrating news. As mentioned in my previous post, the final date for the signing of the permanent modification paperwork got pushed out another month. It would appear the lenders are not happy with my ability to make mortgage payments. However, it’s very satisfying on this end to be able to write those checks again.

I have 9 days to go before we meet again. I spoke with my representative a couple of days’ ago and she said everything was correct this time. So, third time’s a charm, I guess, but praise God for the blessing of friends…and co-workers willing to take time out of their busy days to act as witnesses.

I’m asking for lots of prayers, good wishes, positive thoughts, etc. that Mom and I, and our little farm, can get right-side up again permanently. As always, many thanks!

May God bless you & keep you!