Many Thanks…Again!

“But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house; in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple.” (Psalm 5:7)

First of all, I want to say “thank you” to everyone for your patience, and for the kind words in regard to the loss of my Auntie Sandra Chelak (nee Burbank). It’s never easy to lose someone you love, but some hit harder than others. This is one of those times.

My Auntie Sandy was a very special lady. Yes, I’m biased by my love for her. However, the outpouring of love from family, friends, her former students, neighbors, etc. is a measure of just how many lives she touched…and in profound ways. She loved people. She loved to laugh and have a good time. She was outgoing, funny, and a gifted artist who loved to play bridge. She was also an avid gardener and a spade was a shovel. You knew exactly where you stood with her…in a good way. She was open and honest, and didn’t take any b.s., but she was also kind and generous. She loved deeply and was the glue that held everyone together. She was also a woman of deep faith. And I have no doubt that she is with Jesus at this very moment.

Again, I may be a bit biased, but she deserves every accolade she has received this past week as news of her passing spreads across the U.S. And I do mean that in a literal sense. Throughout their many years of marriage, my aunt and uncle lived in New Jersey, Maryland, Virginia, and most recently, Arizona. She was from Rhode Island. Her niece here (moi) is in Connecticut. Another niece is in Mississippi. And, I believe, her husband, my Uncle George, has family in Pennsylvania.

They say distance has a tendency to blunt grief. I suppose, on some levels, that’s true. Though she has never been far from my thoughts over the years, it’s true that I get up each morning and my days are still fairly the same. We didn’t live in the same house, the same town, or even the same region of the country. When they were younger, Auntie Sandy and Uncle George made frequent road trips East every couple of years to check on her eldest sister, Marjorie, who was in an assisted living facility, and to visit family and friends along the way. We would spend a wonderful day together, catching up, sharing laughs and memories, and making more. And there were always letters, cards, and phone calls back and forth.

It hurts every time I think, “Oh, I have to ask Auntie Sandy about that” or “I have to share this with her next time we talk”, etc. It hurts to know I will never have her wise counsel on the other end of the phone again…though I will always hear that beloved voice in my memories.

Her son, my cousin, Gary, called me last night. At first it was tough; words just seem so inadequate at times like this. But then the memories started pouring out. We laughed over an afternoon he and Auntie spent together learning how to make crepes for the first time…after she’d just promised her bridge club crepes for tea the next day! There was a bittersweet sigh over the paper dolls she drew for cousins, Miriam and Melanie, and I at a family gathering at our grandparents’ house; Gary was still a baby at the time. The laughter, the memories–both happy and bittersweet–were so healing. It’s exactly what she would’ve wanted.

There was a poem/letter read by actress Patricia Neal on an episode of Little House on the Prairie entitled: Remember Me.

“Remember me with smiles and laughter for that is how I will remember you. If you can only remember me with tears, then don’t remember me at all.”

That about sums it up, but my heart will still be quite heavy for a while. She used to read this blog; I hope she’s still reading it from heaven. I love you, Auntie Sandy…until we meet again:

May God bless you & keep you!

Works Cited

“Remember Me.” Little House on the Prairie, written and directed by Michael Landon, developed for television by Blanche Hanalis, Ed Friendly Productions, NBC, 1975.