Category: Exhaustion

Animals, Appreciation, Books, Christianity, ecosystems, Exhaustion, Faith, gardening, Gratitude, Herbs, Homesteading, Nature, Plants, Writing

Winding Down

Lisa Burbank

“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so He giveth His beloved sleep.” (Psalm 127: 1-2)

As summer winds down, the garden–what little I planted–dies back, herbs and flowers go to seed, and at work, summer reading ends. On this last, we all breathe a sigh of relief. This year, we nearly tripled our participation, which fills me with joy to see so many neighbors and friends enjoying their summer with good books, fun games, prizes, and snacks.

On the homestead, I’m harvesting more cherry tomatoes than I know what to do with…except maybe as a healthier snack instead of reaching for chips or popcorn. Brussel sprouts are still growing, as is some cabbage (despite the cabbage larvae that nearly decimated both earlier in the season…). We have a few small sugar pumpkins, and some unnamed variety of heirloom bean drying in their pods on the vine. Something ate the peas. The green beans didn’t produce nearly as much as the amount of plants suggested. And it’ll be quite some time before I know if the American chestnuts (a hybrid designed to bring this legendary tree back from extinction by grafting it to a Japanese root stock that is resistant to the blight) survived the long winter in refrigeration and then into the ground.

Yes, we still talk about relocating…now more than ever due to the cost of living and the explosion of “urban development” in this once-rural community. But I leave it in His hands.

For now, I’m working towards making this place, this space, as self-sufficient as possible. The fixer-upper needs a ton of work, and now costs me far more each month to hold on to than it’s market value suggests. Perhaps there’s a solution down the road. Perhaps not. And between cats and herbs, we’ll need a Mack truck to do that relocating. Still, what is slowly happening here fills me with joy.

In addition to some veggies, I planted hibiscus, borage, bee balm (although it is not true Monarda didyma with it’s scarlet petals, but another hybrid with magenta petals; the hummingbirds don’t seem to mind…), catnip, calendula, rue, tarragon, and basil. This last, I simply love the smell…and the taste of fresh pesto mixed into some gourmet pasta. This weekend, there are plans to pick up some elderberry bushes from a friend who has an overabundance of them and doesn’t know what to do with them all. What a blessing!

Speaking of birds, though our little flock of chickens and ducks is down to just 7 geriatric birds, the wild birds are visiting in abundance. The birdhouses hosted new life yet again this year. The chickadees, cardinals, juncos, sparrows, titmice, nuthatches, and grackles are now joined by blue jays, mourning doves, orioles, woodpeckers and, yes, hummingbirds. And the mountain mint I planted a few years’ ago is covered with honey bees, bumblebees, and various other bees that I am unfamiliar with. I’m still waiting for the big bottle-blue wasps that tend to feast on mountain mint. I’ve only seen one on occasion this year. When I maintained the herb garden at the living history museum, their mountain mint was covered with these striking-looking wasps.

Again, what blessings! And I’m savoring every one…no matter how small they may seem.

The revisions on the first novel are about 3/4 of the way done. I’ve also started another book. This one, a Young Adult tome. So, despite once again neglecting this blog, it has not been due to laziness, or a lack of respect for any readers still out there. I’m hoping as we head into fall, and the work in the garden, the yard, etc. winds down, that I’ll have more time to devote to it, to develop some healthier, more sustainable habits so I won’t fall off the proverbial blogging wagon again.

Of course, this blog is also going through a little mental re-vamp as I go about my job at work, chores here on the farm, or write/revise books. All-in-all, I’m looking forward to the months ahead. This is my favorite time of year.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Appreciation, Christianity, Exhaustion, Faith, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Grief, Healing, Herbs, Introvert, OCD, Writing

Routines

Lisa Burbank

“Let them praise the name of the Lord, for His name alone is excellent: His glory is above the earth and heaven.” (Psalm 148:13)

Now, let me preface this post with saying I am eternally grateful to finally be earning enough to pay my bills each month, to work at a job that challenges me in so many good ways, and to feel so much a part of this community that I have come to love. I truly am blessed. And turning this foreclosure thing around for a second time is nothing short of a miracle. Amen!

However, there’s another way that my work challenges me, which I am hoping will also be a good thing in time, but is causing me no end of headaches and heartaches: I can’t incorporate any meaningful routine into my days.

OCD tripping me up again…?

Not work’s fault, but the childhood trauma that helped the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to develop in the first place. Twenty years of therapy didn’t “cure” me of it. It only taught me how to manage it…somewhat. But I still struggle with that fine line between better time management overall and knowing when I’m becoming obsessive about that time.

There’s also a side of me that berates myself for being “lazy” when some niggling part of me says maybe it’s “burnout” and my body simply cannot = can + NOT go at my usual breakneck pace. Some of it may be age and menopause. However, the past decade has been one challenge after another: multiple losses of beloved family members; job loss/unemployment; under-employment; a major injury; foreclosure threats and everything seeming to break/leak, etc. all at once on the home front. I’ll have a whole new house by the time I’m done…just in time to bury me with astronomical mortgage payments. Not lamenting holding onto home either, just the increase in payments from falling behind in the first place.

And through it all, I earned first a Bachelor’s degree, and then a Master’s degree, writing the first draft of my first novel as my thesis (it’s in the middle of revisions right now before going off to beta-readers).

However, I also want to show up again every Tuesday and Thursday with a new post. I want to start writing herbal posts again. I want to get back to the heart of what this blog has been and why it was started in the first place. But I have yet to incorporate a routine that will allow it. Part of the reason is that my schedule changes day-to-day and from week-to-week at work.

Sure, our business hours stay the same each week, but my duties and responsibilities change with the seasons, and I’m in the library several hours a week when we’re not open. Again, not a lamentation. Some of those hours are to host multiple writer’s workshops and book clubs, all of which I started to encourage more patronage. We increased patronage this year by half as much again as last year, so that’s a major boon.

Yeah, I probably am Burnt. Out.

Years ago, when I worked in Corporate America, I used to take a week’s vacation, and the first few days of that vacation, I let myself sleep as much as I wanted. After a couple of days, I was refreshed and back to my old vigor. Perhaps that’s what I need now.

Or perhaps the chronic introvert needs some serious time to simply retreat from the world for a few days. Not necessarily in sleep, but simply “time out”.

And maybe, just maybe, yeah, the perfectionist needs to quit trying to “perfect” everything all at once and focus on one area of life first: my health and well-being, and then take a few baby steps towards another area of life once I’m feeling more like myself.

Only then will it be possible to carve out a routine that works without burning me out again.

In the meantime, as with my foreclosure process, I leave it all in His hands. What will be, will be. And I trust Him with whatever the outcome. And that statement right there? That’s the best testament of healing of all: I trust Him. That same childhood trauma that gave me OCD also threw my trust in the dirt, stomped all over it and left it in the gutter. That I can actively give up control of any kind says a lot about His healing, His timing, His plans. Maybe I don’t need a routine after all. After all, it’s His will, not my own.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Bereavement, Brothers & Sisters, Exhaustion, Faith, Family, Gratitude, Grief, Holidays, Homesteading

New Year’s Eve 12/31/2024

Lisa Burbank

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

A year ago today I was MESSED UP. I only acknowledge this now after reading last New Year’s belated post (I neglected to even create a New Year’s Eve post until January 2nd!). I mentioned the loss of Faith (no pun intended) the Plymouth Barred Rock chicken in that post, but not the loss of either rooster. Not a big deal when stacked up against the loss of my Aunt Sandy and Uncle George, but still worth noting.

This year, not only are we rooster-less at The Herbal Hare Tomestead, we’re also goat-less, having lost our beloved Felicity, the last of our Nigerian Dwarfs in early spring. As with Chester, whom we lost towards the end of 2023, age was a factor. But, I think without one of her own, loneliness may have also been a factor. Sure, chickens and ducks shared her world, and humans, too, but she and Chester were the last two for so long, I know she mourned the loss of him right alongside the rest of us.

In addition to Felicity, MIG and Radar (roosters), we lost the last of our Black Australorps, Phantom; the last of our Buff Orpington chickens, Diamond; Taffy, our Silkie chicken, Basa, one of our Polish crested hens, and Strawberry the Pekin duck, who I am sad to say, lost her life from one of our remaining chickens. It happens. It sucks. And it breaks my heart. But I will forever wonder if I could’ve done anything better/different. Was the new coop too small? It didn’t seem so with chickens and ducks having separate houses and only sharing the barnyard together, something they have done their whole lives. As for the others? We are a homestead of geriatric critters. The uncertainty of whether we would keep the farm, or lose it to foreclosure, meant I haven’t restocked for a number of years in case we were forced to rehome them. I’ve simply been caring for those that remain, helping them to live their best lives for whatever time they have left.

It may stay that way.

Despite the tab labeled, “The Dream”, I am also acknowledging my own aging process. No, I’m far from ancient, but my lower spine gave me a painful reminder that I’m no more a young, sprung chicken than my feathered friends when it came to burying Chester and Felicity’s remains. As their name suggests, Nigerian Dwarfs are a smaller breed of goat. Felicity wasn’t so bad. However, Chester was rather large for the breed. He was wethered by his previous owner because he was too large for the breed and any offspring might’ve been too large for a standard-sized Nigerian Dwarf doe to safely birth.

Felicity

He was also too large for someone 55+ to be lifting and then lowering into a grave.

All of that being said, I’m not giving up on my dreams. I’m simply being careful not to spread myself out too thin going forward, weighing options, and considering the future. Also, the recent threat of foreclosure, the loss of loved ones, and a thesis to complete for graduation last August, have all wreaked havoc on me (Can you say “burnout”?). It may be a while before I’m ready to take on a fully-fledged farm again…and when I do, I’m considering only bees and bunnies. Time will tell…

Of course, we’re not completely out of this season of loss. As we lost my father’s sister, Sandy, and her husband, George, last year, my mother lost one of her sisters, my Aunt Donna, this year.

It has been very hard trying to be strong for Mom, while also mourning the loss of another beloved aunt. I’ve mentioned often about having a stepfather who wanted “too much to do with me” as a child. When I first opened up about the abuse, Auntie Donna was with Mom when I told her. She was a well of support in the weeks and months that followed, even to going with me to therapy one afternoon.

More importantly, she was Mom’s closest sister. Mom is one of 11 children in what I can only describe as a very dysfunctional family (and, yes, I know that term has been bandied about far too much over the years…). Good people, all of them, but they don’t talk. They take offense too easily. Despite being sisters and brothers, they have the equivalent of high school “clicks” amongst them. And income, or the lack thereof, has often been a determining factor in who gets to be in which “click”. Mom has been widowed and living with me for over 10 years now. Only one other sister calls to check up on her from time to time. To say that she’s feeling this loss keenly is putting it mildly. I can only hope that 2025 will be a better year for our family…and yours!

Auntie Donna

To be honest, I don’t know if He is finished with this season of loss with us or not, but I think this year’s word will be “Hope”. I am hopeful about so many things, I don’t know where to begin listing them…despite the recent losses. On that score, I am also grateful to have been able to share my life with these loved ones for as long as I did. Maybe I took some of them for granted. Maybe I could’ve been there for them more than I was, but my love for them was always deep and never-ending…and it always will be.

So here’s to 2025…a year of Hope.

As for the usual song of the year? I’ve decided this year that I will be sharing a new video/song, as well as a line of Scripture, every day on my social media accounts, so there isn’t any one song this time around. And that’s okay.

Happy New Year, Everyone! May God bless you & keep you!

19th century, Abuse, Alcoholism, Chronic Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Exhaustion, Faith, God/Jesus, Healing, Herbs, Holistic Health, Homesteading, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Poverty, Prayer, Scripture, Writing, Yoga & Fitness

Convenience Over Quality

Lisa Burbank

“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.” (Romans 1:28)

Despite my longing for a 19th century style of life, unprocessed foods and clean soil with which to grow food, I live in the 21st century. When I’m feeling tired, rundown, or overwhelmed, it’s pretty easy to cave into temptation and reach for a package of Ramen noodles. Or a can of Campbell’s soup. Would that there were healthier options available in that time of need. Would that I still spent Sundays cooking and baking a mountain of food to freeze for such times again.

Convenience is the reward for either my laziness, or my lack of foresight, in planning ahead for such “rainy” days. The price is a body that feels stiff and tired, eyes that burn with fatigue, and a head that’s filled with so much fog, I might need a foghorn to warn any incoming data of potential rocks up ahead.

Of course, there’s a snowball effect here, too. As I reach for convenience, I also find myself sleeping later, but not feeling rested. Regular prayer life, yoga and Ayurveda practices, daily walks, and just some quiet time alone have fallen by the wayside. How did I get into this rut? Was it only from another snowball effect of job losses, injuries and toxic relationships that led me here? Or something more?

The campaign ads are correct that so many of our illnesses come from what’s in our food. I have Irritable Bowel/Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Chronic Epstein-Barr. Childhood trauma, and the stress that comes with it, certainly contributed to these conditions, but our food system played its part, too. Mom was a single mother for many years, struggling to get by. She married an alcoholic, who was forever losing jobs because he was hung over and “couldn’t” work before an injury permanently disabled him, so the struggle not only continued, but increased on the stress barometer. We lived on a diet of Campbell’s soup, Rice-A-Roni, Noodle Roni, Hamburger Helper, and white flour products.

We couldn’t afford better. And most families cannot afford better today. In fact, the campaign ads are also correct that it’s gotten worse since I was a kid in the late-60s and 70s.

The answer is to hold myself accountable for my choices, take baby steps, such as ordering a salad at a restaurant instead of “loaded” fries, or writing a blog post that doesn’t make a lot of sense…but doing it anyway. Taking these small steps, and slowly increasing, until I’m feeling more like myself again. And giving back by making healthier foods and supplements (i.e. herbs) not only a staple in my own life, but a cornerstone of this homestead.

Of course, prayer is the biggest answer. Giving it all to God, taking it to Jesus in prayer, giving Him my lazy, my lack of foresight, my tired, stiff body, and allowing Him to build a lighthouse to avoid those rocks in the fog is the best blueprint for success. He is the One “convenience” that gives the best quality of life. Ever.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Appreciation, Books, Christianity, Exhaustion, Family, Fiber Arts, Friendship, gardening, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Herbs, Homesteading, Plants, Prayer, Prepping, Reading, Religion, Sleep Deprivation, Spinning, Straw Braiding, Weaving, Writing, Yoga & Fitness

Keeping It Simple

Lisa Burbank

“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

I’m feeling my age…and the stress of the past year: navigating, and eventually, mitigating foreclosure; the loss of my beloved aunt and uncle; new job position that I absolutely love but, it also keeps me hopping with an ever-changing schedule; thesis courses demanding 15,000 new words to my first novel to be turned in every 4 weeks. And now, another beloved aunt struggling with health issues. I also have a cat under veterinary care right now and a geriatric goat with some special needs. To say that I am spent would be putting it mildly.

And yet, on the upside, through His grace, I have successfully navigated foreclosure and, at least for the moment, am keeping my home. I am blessed beyond measure to have aunts and uncles that I can call “beloved”. I am also blessed beyond measure in a still-tanking job market to have the job that I do. There’s a certain thrill to see the story in my head and in my heart coming out on paper. And it’s another kind of blessing to have pets to share my world, to care for each day.

But I’m still spent.

I stood up one of my best friends this week for an event that she and I were supposed to attend together. She was worried something bad might’ve happened. Then I forgot I had agreed to cover as Lector last week for a fellow parishioner. Father Ben teased me about it. He wasn’t angry, but I was angry with myself…for both instances.

I either need to simplify, or get better organized. Perhaps it’s a little of both. An accountability partner would be a blessing right now, too, but I can’t have everything…

“The Dream” section of this blog/website is still in my heart. Every time I think of simplifying, another point from that bulleted outline rears up and says, “Don’t forget me!”. And I don’t.

Still, there’s a shifting inside that is looking to modify it a little…at least until I’m through with college.

I’ve blogged before about how I overfill my time. I tend to have “scatter syndrome” from too much “busyness”. I forget things like dates with friends, additional commitments, and even prayer. The flip side is, if I simplify too much, the brain turns to mush and the forgetfulness increases, rather than decreases. I need to find that sweet balance.

Or a staycation where I can do some much-needed spring cleaning that’s nagging at me and get better organized.

But, back to simplifying…if I stay right here in northeastern Connecticut, then The Herbal Hare may get whittled down to what everyone sees in the icon: Bunnies, herbs, and honeybees. I’ve already determined, unless I do find that place in Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire…or Missouri, then Felicity will be my last goat, and the few chickens and ducks I have left, also the last.

And does that ever cut!

But my life has become an endless litany of sacrifices. I sacrifice time with friends to keep up on my studies. I sacrifice writing time to help out somewhere. I sacrifice things like yoga, exercise, time with this blog, etc. to “catch up” on some much needed sleep. And then I beat myself up for not “making” the time for these other things. In short, with my time–and I have only 24 hours a day like everyone else–I am perpetually robbing Peter to pay Paul.

So, it’s time to prioritize. And then, once I’ve graduated, I can re-evaluate.

My priorities are likened to those times that prove, or have proven, to be the most satisfying to my soul:

Time spent in prayer.

Saturday evenings playing cards and Scrabble with Mom.

Chatting with my brother, sister-in-law and nieces on the phone.

Outings with friends to hike through the park, peruse the bookstore, visit a museum, share a meal.

Family get togethers.

Time spent on the water, either cruising the lake on my uncle’s pontoon, or sharing the paddle boat with a cousin or two.

Walks with my dogs…when I had dogs.

Bunny-time…when I had rabbits, the time spent each night in their room letting them free-range outside of their cages. Sometimes I would simply read while they stretched their legs. Most of the time, I laughed at their antics…especially when the cats joined in and all of them played and cuddled together.

When I worked in living history museums, the mornings spent walking through the herb garden I was in charge of with a cuppa tea in hand, deciding what “chores” needed to be done today while stopping to inhale the scents of my favorite plants.

Working in the garden.

Making tinctures, salves, decoctions, infusions, or spice blends.

Spinning wool into yarn, filling the niddy-noddy with it, or weaving new cloth.

Braiding straw with which to make hats.

A whole Sunday spent cooking and baking for the week.

Watching honeybees at work gathering their nectar.

Time spent in the barnyard.

Reading a passage of a book, or story, that I’ve written that came out particularly well.

Reading a good book.

Spending my early mornings with a cuppa tea and working on a blog post.

And, one of the most satisfying moments of my life was about 10 years’ ago. I cooked a simple meal of pasta, salad and bread, topped it off with a cup of hot chocolate. The pasta sauce had come from tomatoes I’d grown from seed and canned. Most of the salad fixings came from my own garden. The bread was made from scratch. And even the marshmallow I’d placed in my hot chocolate had been made from scratch. It was that feeling of accomplishment.

The new job has those moments, too, especially when I’m hosting a writer’s workshop, or a book club, or a knitting/crocheting group and that sense of community ensues.

These are the things that fill me with peace, things I long to get back to. And, anything in The Dream, or in present life, that does not lead me to one (or all) of these ends, will have to go. That’s a tall order, but it’s one worth filling.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Bereavement, Christianity, Exhaustion, Faith, Family, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Healing, Holidays, Homesteading

Goodbye 2023

Lisa Burbank

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Another year winding down to a close. This is often, in my mind at least, a time to reflect upon the year that’s passing.

I’ve been shying away from that.

It’s been a tough year filled with uncertainty…and some losses that have cut me to the bone. Yet it’s also been a year that’s filled me with hope…even as my prayer life has hit one of those dead zones.

This time last year I was staring down the face of foreclosure, scared silly I’d lose my babies, the cat, goat, chicken and duck “babies” that share this homestead with Mom and I. I wasn’t even sure where Mom and I were going to go if we lost the home. I promised myself–and Him–that if He saved my home again, I would shout His praises from the rooftop. There’s been a praise and song in my heart, but I’ve retreated so far inward, well, I’m hoping the Bible studies I’m taking on Wednesday nights at church will help me navigate this spiritual desert. Right now everything is just numb…yet maybe a little raw, too.

This time last year we also had intermittent running water. Then from April until late-July we didn’t have any running water at all. Praise God–and Robert–for helping us get the water back on. And my heart was truly singing during and after that first hot shower in a very long time!

Of course, New Year’s Eve is always that time when I remember those I’ve lost throughout the year. Close to home, we lost Mountain Dew Duck, Jeep the Rooster, Faith, the last of our Plymouth Barred Rock chickens, and our sweet and lovable Nigerian Dwarf goat, Chester. Also, Herman the barn cat disappeared about a month ago. He’s been gone before, but usually not more than a few days, a week at best. Herman was incredibly shy. We tried capturing him, but he knew what a live trap was and avoided it like the plague.

On the human side, in April I also lost my Aunt Sandy, which if you’ve been following my blog, you probably saw the post about that. Her husband, my Uncle George, followed her in July. I might be able to find something metaphoric in the times of their passing vs. the water shutting completely off and then, praise the Lord, coming back on. However, it’s too great a mental exercise right now.

You see, this has been my time to weep, to mourn, to give up (or, in my case, give it up (to God!)), to be silent. It’s been the worry over the home; the stress of so many repairs and replacements; the grief…this last is the hardest. And now the feeling of being overwhelmed as I try to clean up, shape up, pick up the pieces and move on…while also in the midst of the first of three thesis classes. Go figure!

Then just before Christmas, a friend of a friend found mention on the probate court website of another friend’s estate. Duncan had not been heard from since August and we had been very worried about him. He lived alone and he wasn’t returning phone calls. A few visits to his home showed no one was there and no one had contacted my friend to let him know what happened. Whether Duncan passed away at home, or later in a hospital, we may never know. He was never a visitor to the homestead, but his best friend is, and his loss is still felt.

Despite all of this, all of the struggles and the losses of family and friends, both human and humane, I truly do feel blessed. Blessed to have shared at least part of my life with everyone mentioned here…and I praise God for those who are still here to share this life with me. Here’s to hoping 2024 will be a much happier year!

May God bless you & keep you!

Exhaustion, Faith, Gratitude, Minimalism, Politics, Religion, Scripture, Writing

Under Construction Yet Again

Lisa Burbank

As many of you know, I am currently at work on my Master’s degree in Creative Writing. During one of the classes I took to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing, I had to create an author’s page (i.e. a whole other website/blog devoted strictly to being a writer). The ideology behind it was that my personal views on politics, religion, social issues, etc. could adversely impact my writing career. I didn’t like it because I am not ashamed of this page, or anything I may have written here, but I complied to make a passing grade.

Then two terms’ ago, I was asked to make another blog/website. This one…well, I’m still not 100% sure why I had to make the third blog. If I decide to offer my services as a proofreader to other writers, if I decide to write content for businesses to share on their social media accounts, if I suddenly find an overabundance of “spare” time to create brochures, flyers and other advertising “literature” for businesses, I can either create another page here, or on the author’s page.

And now I’m saying to heck with all of that! I’m a writer. This is what I do. Trying to keep up with three separate websites is exhausting and ridiculous. I’m neglecting this blog. Both my author’s page, and the newer page, are collecting cyber dust. I’ve tried to justify the newer page in other posts. I can’t. This is where everything comes to life. Having multiple websites, in my opinion anyway, will be worse for my brand than any political, social, or religious views I may share here. If nothing else, we’ll consider it another form of minimalism.

I checked out a book from the library entitled WordPress for Dummies by Lisa Sabin-Wilson. There must be a way to blend all three pages, including a link directly to the author’s page vs. The Herbal Hare. It may just be a matter of creating a hyperlink in the tabs. (And, yes, that is a shout out to the more tech-savvy of my readers for advice on how best to facilitate this…lol!)

I will do my best to be more consistent here as I navigate through this process. And I haven’t forgotten my promise to do some Wednesday Weed Walks on the herbs I talked about on my first ever “live” weed walk. So stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’d like to share that most famous and beautiful of prayers found in Matthew 6:9-13:

“This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Amen.

As always, I thank you for your patience…and your continued patronage.

May God bless you & keep you!

Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Exhaustion, Faith, Finances, God/Jesus, Spirituality, Writing

Beware of What You Wish For

Lisa Burbank

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

I asked the Lord to teach me patience some years’ back. Wow. Is He ever!

Okay, maybe that’s not something to beware of since it is also His way of strengthening my faith in Him. He’s teaching me patience (or maybe I have a cross to bear in the form of insanity). Every time I get close to the finish line, so to speak, something else happens and I’m still staring at it from afar.

My trial modification for my mortgage has been completed. I received the final agreement. I have two good friends who are notaries. One of them has taken time away from an ailing father twice already to witness my signature. And she’s coming out again on Friday to do it a third time. The reason? The bank has been sending in their final paperwork rather than standard Connecticut papers. Theirs are so poorly done that even their lawyers called them out on what is, essentially, a technicality that they created. My friend has done her job and done it well. However, there’s a piece that looks like fine print that also needs her signature and seal. Long story short, my final meeting with them to finalize all of this has been pushed out another month.

Seriously?

Yes, I know. Patience. It’s a virtue and all that. I’m starting to wonder if “virtue” is really all that it’s cracked up to be.

(insert heavy sigh here)

And I suppose that’s the end of my rant this time. Same ol’, same ol’. To say it is getting old is to point at the obvious. However, we will prevail. I may still be short on patience but I also still have faith. He’s got this.

And because He does, so do I.

PS On the upside, my finals in Short Story Writing were last week; perfect score and a recommendation from the instructor to try and publish the short story I’d written for that final. I’ll keep you posted on that one!

May God bless you & keep you!

Christianity, Compassion, Exhaustion, Faith, Forgiveness, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Prayer, Religion, Scripture, Spirituality

Remembering the Sabbath Day

Lisa Burbank

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (Exodus 20:8-11)

I missed church yesterday. I knew before I went to bed the night before that I probably wouldn’t make it to church in the morning. I guess you could say it was “pre-planned”.

No, fire and brimstone didn’t rain down upon my head but, the guilt crept in anyway. I have so much to be thankful for right now. I should be showing those thanks by going to worship Him, praising Him, for carrying me through one of the toughest storms I’ve ever weathered. The praise, the thanksgiving—all of it is in my heart. I think He knows that (hope?).

But I stayed home. I finished my homework and made a small dent in the laundry instead—secular concerns.

No, they’re not more important than Him. I hope He knows that, too. But I needed a break. Not from Jesus, not from God, or His grace, for nothing restores my soul like He does. I needed a break from simply having to be somewhere at a certain time. My get up and go, got up and went, as the saying goes. Life has been nonstop these days. It’s all good things: new job that I love; writing classes that are getting more and more interesting; getting back into a better blogging routine and seeing some uptick in subscribers, likes, and views; an old friend back in my life who is proving to be a rock, helping me to get back on my feet far quicker than I could ever do by myself…thanks be to God!

But I still missed church.

There’s still a part of me thinking I’m Supergirl. Instead, some better time management would solve most of my problems. I wouldn’t get overwhelmed as often. And my soul that is always thirsting for His word, would be quenched with those living waters each week. Also, remembering that He is a loving God. He rested on the 7th day. Sometimes the body, mind, and/or spirit is weary and needs that 7th day to rest, just as our Lord did. And that’s okay…as long as I don’t make it a habit.

I am reminded of Shel Silverstein’s most excellent children’s book, The Giving Tree. Like the old tree stump that is left at the end of the book, I’ve given all I have and there is nothing left to give. (That may be a paraphrase) Well, I’m not entirely at that point but, I am certainly familiar with that kind of burnout and, as I scratch and crawl my way back from total ruin, I am well aware that burnout could come back all too easily to bite me in the proverbial backside. Better time management, learning to pace myself, and remembering that He loves me even when I am weak, these are some of the many lessons He has taught me in this storm.

And I praise Him for it!

May God bless you & keep you!

Works Cited

Silverstein, Shel. The Giving Tree. Harper & Row, 1964.

Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animals, Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Compassion, Exhaustion, Faith, Frugality, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Herbs, Homesteading, Minimalism, Politics, Prayer, Prepping, Proofreading, Religion, Scripture, Spinning, Weaving, Writing, YouTube

Going Forward

Lisa Burbank

“You have rejected us, O God, and burst forth upon us; you have been angry–now restore us! You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fracturs, for it is quaking. You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger. But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled against the bow. Selah” (Psalm 60: 1-4)

            The water’s out again. It’s happening more frequently these days. We’ll have running water for a few days, and then the taps will run dry for 2, 3…one time 9 days’ straight. We’ve considered that a combination of local drought, mixed with the flood we had last year, may have run the well dry—or semi-dry. That’s a scary thought but, a credible one. Of course, it could still be that I need to replace the pump, or the resident rodent population chewed a wire somewhere. At this point, we simply don’t know. And the means to find out exactly what’s wrong, and actually get it fixed, is beyond me at the moment. We could be talking tens of thousands of dollars when all is said and done.

As I said in a previous post, I am bodaciously tired of all of this. The struggle has become unbearable. Moving would be our best option. This may be home but, home needs way more TLC than I can give it to make it comfortable and safe again. The problem is my credit is toast at this point. Can I hang in here long enough to rebuild my credit before home becomes completely uninhabitable? We’re almost there now.

            So many things, so many worries…I still have some juvenile felines that need spaying. The roof still leaks. Even when the water runs, there’s no hot water; the tank died a year and a half ago. We heat water for bathing on the stove…or rather the hot plate. The stove no longer works either. The house is a fright. This last because I’ve allowed depression to get the better of me. The task is too enormous and there never seems to be enough time. It’s nothing some serious elbow grease wouldn’t fix but, still, it can be overwhelming with all that needs doing and fixing. I’d love to rent the biggest dumpster imaginable and just toss almost everything in it, start anew, and less is best.

            On the plus side, my friend’s little boy made his First Communion yesterday. What a cause for rejoicing! His little face was aglow as he accepted the body of Christ for the first time. Quite a lot of extended family came to church to celebrate with him, including his older brother home from college. The only downside was the low number of children making that First Communion. I praise God for the 5 who received it. However, I remember the long line of children making their First Communion when I was a child. Sad that people do not make religious education a priority today. Maybe we’d have fewer shootings, fewer suicides, less drug addiction and abuse. Maybe not but, even a tiny seed of hope planted in the heart can do wonders. That’s what Jesus does for you; He fills you with hope. When you have Him, no earthly concern can truly hurt you.

            I’m also doing a weed walk next month, my first. I hope to create new business cards beforehand so I can pass them out to any who join the walk. I’m hoping to build a local following before I start uploading videos to YouTube. I want to get comfortable with the teaching aspect of it before I have to do it on camera. There’s also the whole technical learning curve before YouTube becomes a *thing* in my life. I will, of course, share the link once I finally do hit YouTube. In the meantime, there’s local weed walks and workshops…and a renewed commitment to build a brand through my blogs.

Yes, blogs…with an S.

Most who have been following me for a while know I also have an author’s page. I’m still working on the first novel but, I occasionally do book reviews on my author’s page. I am looking to get more intentional with that, too. The link is https://lisaburbank.wordpress.com

Then there’s the latest blog. This one started as a classroom assignment. We were asked to build a website for selling your product(s) and/or services online as a freelance writer. Well, I confess, I don’t sell any services as a freelance writer. Maybe in time I will. I’m pretty good at editing. And I’m gaining some experience with grant writing since becoming the director of a library. But, as a student, even having scaled back to part-time studies, the time needed to edit another’s work, or assist someone in the grant writing process, would be overwhelming. And, to be honest, when I consider selling those services, it makes more sense to me to do so through my author’s page.

However, that didn’t fly with the professor; I tried. It had to be a new website.

Now that the boring bibliography-about-nothing-in-particular is gone, I can revamp it.

Over the years, The Herbal Hare has been such a hodge-podge of *stuff*. I’m looking to get more intentional with what I include here vs. what should probably go somewhere else. For example, some years’ ago, I wrote a piece about growing up with alcoholism in the home and how it affects the whole family, sometimes for generations. I received a lot of new followers but, it didn’t have anything to do with homesteading, herbs, or prepping, and I lost a lot of those followers who didn’t like the new direction. I’ve also gotten social/political a time or two…and alienated some readers with that. I’m hoping that https://auntielisaspeaks.com will be an alternative. The Herbal Hare will remain a blog about herbs, homesteading, prepping, fiber arts, frugal living, minimalism, antiquated skills, animal husbandry and, yeah, still a bit of a hodge-podge. Homesteading encompasses a lot of ground.

Auntie Lisa Speaks will be one-part memoir, one-part social commentary, and one-part call to action to remember that no matter the issue, there’s a real person on the other end of the screen. Their thoughts and feelings do matter, and their struggles are real. Part of that call to action will also be a call to follow Christ; our country really needs God back at the center of things again.

May God bless you & keep you!