Category: Understanding

Appreciation, Compassion, Faith, Gratitude, Healing, Homesteading, illness, Understanding

Go Fund Me Campaign

Lisa Burbank

“And it is He who will supply all your needs from His riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for us.” (Philippians 4:19)

And so it has come to begging for help as I navigate through this convalescence. I fell on my own property, I am technically still employed (even if unable to work), and thank God, I should be able to return to work eventually so I am not considered disabled. But I am disabled…temporarily. So, I am swallowing my pride and reaching out everywhere for some helping hands. I am forever obliged.

May God bless you & keep you!

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/9fymzf-medical-leave

Christianity, Forgiveness, Healing, Understanding

Who Does THIS??

Lisa Burbank

“Our Father, Who art in heaven. Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen!” (The Lord’s Prayer, Mark 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4)

It’s been a little over two weeks since I fell and fractured my left shoulder. I am definitely mending. The numbness and tingling have left my fingers and I am able to move fingers, wrist and even bend–gently, slowly–at the elbow. The shoulder is still another matter. And the bruise stretching from the inside of my left elbow all the way up to my armpit is finally starting to turn that sickly yellow color; it’s been black and purple-black. Now it itches like heck and, because some of the swelling and numbness is receding, I have to caution myself not to overdue; I need to get back to work. Having no income right now sucks…royally.

But all this is neither here nor there.

(Can you tell I’m already going stir crazy?? Lol!)

The day that I slipped and fell on the ice it was freezing outside. My driveway, which I was trying to navigate, was a solid sheet of ice–as I quickly found out–the hard way. So, here I am, testing feet, ankles, etc., for injuries and then I attempt to get up. The pain that shot through my arm and shoulder squelched that idea–fast. I tried shifting my weight so I could use my good arm for support. More pain. Could I roll onto my knees? Again, pain. So, I’m sitting there in the cold and on the ice, trying not to panic. I’m more worried about my 70-something year-old Mom looking out the window, seeing me, and then trying to navigate that same skating rink to help me. Somehow, I doubt she would listen if I yelled at her to stay inside and just call the paramedics and, the last thing I want, is for her to break a hip or hit her head…i.e. sustain a worse injury than I obviously have. So, what can I do?

Besides panic…

Fortunately, though this is a small hobby farm, my property sits on a busy interstate and I have businesses and an apartment across the street. Someone is bound to drive in or out eventually. But I can’t guarantee it’ll happen before Mom realizes I’m taking an awful long time shoveling and decides to check. Can I at least get my feet back under me? Nope, it’s solid ice. My feet just slide around, no traction anywhere.

But, then, suddenly, a car pulls in across the street. As the driver’s side door opens, I call out, “Help me!”

The young woman keeps walking. Damn…she couldn’t hear me over the traffic.

I try again.

She turns, looks straight at me, sitting on the ice, turns away and goes into the office building.

Really? Who does THAT? Who hears a cry for help, looks and sees someone in need of that help, and totally ignores them? There is a part of me that wants to give this young woman the benefit of the doubt. I mean, I wasn’t bleeding or anything. But it was single digits outside…who willingly sits in the middle of the driveway, on ice, in single digits?

And I realize that maybe it shouldn’t bother me that much…except it obviously does. Because I can’t wrap my mind around what sort of person leaves another hurting like that. I mean, even taking into consideration that she might’ve been afraid to navigate that same ice to come to my aid, a simple shout, “Do you need an ambulance?” would’ve sufficed.

Again, it shouldn’t bother me so much. But since it does, the only thing I can do is pray for this young woman. Perhaps her troubles are so great, perhaps she’s so caught up in those troubles, that she really didn’t grasp the whole situation. Maybe she heard my voice but couldn’t make out what I’d said. (Are you okay?) And, of course, in this age of disconnect, where social media has taken the place of real time, real connection, the voice on the phone or the handwritten letter, maybe she’s not even aware she’s supposed to ask such questions. I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt against the first possibility. She was going into a temp agency and I definitely know what that’s like. It’s only been a little over a year since I found full-time employment…after 2 years of unemployment and another 5 of only part-time and/or seasonal work. And, despite what our illustrious leader says, the job market’s not getting any better..but that’s another post for another day.

Today it’s a prayer that, for whatever reason that young woman needed to visit a temp agency, I hope her errand was successful. After all, her lack of response did force me to eventually find a way to slide my backside over to the grassy area bordering the driveway and, gritting my teeth, shift my weight so I could get up on my knees…and then my feet.

But I still want to know who does that???

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Appreciation, Christianity, Compassion, Faith, Gratitude, Healing, Homesteading, Love, Nature, Religion, Self-esteem, Self-improvement, Spirituality, Understanding

Taking Heart

Lisa Burbank

“Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them! For the Lord your God will be with you. He will neither fail or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Some days the alarm goes off and it’s all you can do to keep from shutting it off, rolling over and committing to spending the day in bed. Not because you’re ill or seriously sleep-deprived, but because some little guy with a pitchfork is sitting on your shoulder telling lies: You’re not good enough. You’re wasting your time. No matter how hard you work and strive to do otherwise, you will never succeed…or get ahead of the game.

You’re in this alone.

This last one doesn’t frighten me overmuch. I know I am not truly alone; God is always with me. Some days though, it is hard to remember this fact. Not because I don’t feel the Lord’s presence in my life but because, despite my faith, there is a part of me that caves under the onslaught of the adversary’s attack. I start to believe that maybe my life would be better if (fill in the blank). Yearnings escalate. I sink into despair. That little hamster running on the wheel that is my brain just turned into a T-Rex. Inwardly, there is a protest that, if I gave into it, would find me hiding under those covers.

I had just such an anxiety attack yesterday on the way to work. I wanted to turn right back around and head for home. Where it’s safe. It’s known. It’s familiar.

My work place is familiar. No real step out of the comfort zone there. But anxiety, depression, low self-esteem are many of the tools the adversary uses to trip us up. I disobeyed the wowzy wowzy woo woo voice and carried on. The day would begin with or without my presence.

But I’m glad I showed up.

Newly-acquainted friends from my church showed up with their children for our homeschool days and I got to chat, find out I’m not such an oddball after all with wanting to grow my food, raise honey bees or goats; they do all three. There’s a common interest in herbs, too. Rather than spend the day solo in the herb garden (though I fairly love it), I got to spend the day helping my supervisor and another co-worker create a new vegetable garden for our charter school kids to work on as a project. What a great blessing to be able to share gardening (and learn some gardening skills) with so many eager youngsters! Later in the day, a trio of lambs escaped. I got to help round them up and even carried one back to his/her Mama. Such joy! His/her bleating nearly broke my heart but the little kisses I planted upon his/her brow had every ounce of love in my heart being given. And the look on his Mama’s face as I drew near the sheep pen with her baby was classic. I pushed away the dark reminder that said lamb may one day become a roast or a pile of chops; today is when we need to be living. And, God willing, this one will escape such a fate. But that didn’t stop me from fantasizing about bringing the whole herd home with me where such a fate would never be theirs (yes, I have it bad). The rest of the afternoon was spent with my co-worker digging a new hot bed for early plant starts–a good skill to learn for a would-be homesteader.

All in all, it was a productive, happy day and one I would have missed if I had given in to those ol’ devils: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and even panic that rode with me for much of the hour’s ride into work yesterday morning. I once read a book by author Susan Jeffers entitled, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”. That should be the battle cry for anyone whose ears are being filled with the adversaries lies. I know, oftentimes, it’s easier said than done but I am enough. I am good enough. My time is well-spent. I am a valuable asset. People do like me. And, through that hard work, one step at a time, I am succeeding. I am never alone. God is always with me. And He will never leave me.

Or you.

Invite Him into your life today; you won’t regret it. Take that Mr. Pitchfork.

May God bless you & keep you!

Appreciation, Bereavement, Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Compassion, Faith, Family, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Healing, Love, Memories, Prayer, Religion, Scripture, Spirituality, Understanding

An Unexpected Gift

Lisa Burbank

“There is a right time for everything: A time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant; a time to harvest” (Ecclesiastes 3(1-2)

This is actually one of “those” posts again. The cycles of life and death are never more apparent than when working the earth, working close to the seasons, as one does as a farmer or homesteader. I have been eagerly anticipating the birth of a few ducklings as Dixie Duck has been setting some eggs over the last few weeks. She hatched one yesterday morning. I found the tiniest but most perfectly formed duckling lying on the floor outside of the nest. I wanted to weep. After all this time, with Dixie and I both worrying and waiting and, again, eagerly anticipating.

A stillborn.

It is surely one of those “Why?” questions I hope to ask God someday. I know I’m not supposed to question His wisdom, His plans. But seeing such a tiny life that never got the chance was heartbreaking. Moments later, I also said “Goodbye” to Connie, my New Hampshire Red hen. Truly, Connie was only 3 years old and should have been in the prime of her life. She snuggled down in the hay the night before last, tucked her head under her wing as always and simply went to sleep. I suppose I couldn’t have asked for a kinder end. But I wonder what sort of illness or injury might her stoicism been hiding for she exhibited no sign of either. And there were no signs of having skirmished with either a fellow chicken or even the hoof of a goat.

(Miss Connie is in the lower right corner of picture)

I’m going to hold in my heart that she went to care for the little one, Little Duckie, as I christened his/her remains, on his way to eternal rest. So little and cute, he/she needed someone to care for them. And Dixie, being the only female duck on the farm, elected to stay. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Of course, I also said “Goodbye” to a human acquaintance this week, too. A gentleman who used to greet people at church and also serve as an usher was found on March 21st on the floor of his home. He had suffered a coronary; his 86 (I think; give or take) year old father found him. And my heart goes out to him. I worked with Don at the dealership (the father, not the son); we also share the same parish. I can’t imagine the pain of losing one’s child, no matter how old (Stephen was in his early-60’s). To make matters worse, his mother recently broke her hip. My heart, my thoughts and my prayers go out to this family. When I see the loss and the struggles of others, I often wonder what I’m complaining about in my life.

And yet, there were two unexpected gifts during the memorial service for Stephen on Monday. First, the strength and apparent serenity displayed by his mother. Oh, I’m sure inside a storm was raging over the loss of this child she sheltered for 9 months in her womb, raised to be the fine gentlemen so many of us were blessed to know. But the joy on this woman’s face…it was easy to see that the eulogies given by both Father Ben and Father Elson were of great comfort to her. Again, I don’t know what was truly going on inside but, to be able to display such grace outwardly, when all of your world is crashing down around you, is a faith worth striving for.

And, yes, Father Elson. That was the other unexpected gift. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that Father Elson was transferred out of our parish back in November. I had been away from church for some weeks due to a conflict with my work schedule and came back with a shock to realize that Father Elson had left. I tried hard not to mind that Father Ben now stood on the altar. And, in truth, Father Ben is proving to be as much of a blessing as Father Elson. However, my heart broke just a little thinking I had never gotten the chance to say “Goodbye” to him and wish him well on his future endeavors. He gave so much to our parish, breathed so much life into it, that he will be forever missed. So it truly was a blessing to see him standing on the altar again, giving this eulogy. His first words were that he had loved Stephen. You could feel the warmth and gratitude such words meant to all of Stephen’s loved ones as it was apparent that he meant them. Though it was a sad occasion that brought him back to our parish for the day, it was good to see him, to talk with him and, yes, to wish him well as he journeys back to India today. Though he was just getting over the flu, his trademark smile still lit up the church and the altar. In finally saying, “Goodbye” in another way, I realized just how much I have grown to love this young man…as a friend, as a brother in Christ, as a priest and spiritual leader in our community. Father Elson is not the reserved and somewhat distant priest I remember from my childhood. He’s warm and welcoming and as down-to-earth as anyone could wish. Whatever parish that receives him in the future will be truly blessed, indeed. And I give thanks to our Father in Heaven for the many years we were graced with this man…and for the new chapter that is beginning with Father Ben. In all fairness, he seems cut from the same cloth.

May God bless you & keep you!

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Christianity, Compassion, Culture, Enlightenment, Faith, Gratitude, Holidays, Love, Open-mindedness, Religion, Understanding

Happy Nowruz!

Lisa Burbank

“If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them, and could speak every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise. If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all about what is going to happen in the future, knew everything about everything, but didn’t love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love. If I gave everything I have to the poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the Gospel but didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatever.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

It is in learning one another’s language–and culture–that we show our love for one another. It is in learning one another’s language and culture that we lose the fear and distrust that keeps us starving little people on this planet. This article appeared in The New York Times last March. An Iranian friend shared it with me then; I am sharing it with you today. I’m a day late, as usual, as Nowruz was yesterday, the first day of spring. Better late than never. It is a wonderful article, written by Iranian-American author, Firoozeh Dumas. I hope you enjoy it.

May God bless you & keep you!