Abuse, Christianity, Chronic Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Faith, God/Jesus, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, OCD, Scripture, Social Media

Thoughts Matter

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: ‘Eat and drink,’ saith he to thee, but his heart is not with thee.” (Proverbs 23:7)

I spend far too much time on social media these days. The negativity fills my soul–and yours–like a poison. ‘You are what you eat’ is about a lot more than food, though much of our commercial food industry is laced with poisons, too. Both place an inordinate amount of stress upon the body, mind, and spirit.

I was reminded of that by a friend.

Like me, this friend has a blog. In her case, it’s part of her ministry. It spoke about praying before one shares something on social media, and how what we read and/or share has the power to take us away from His Word…and to cause other brethren to stumble.

Actually, what I often share on social media causes me to stumble. It wastes time that could be better used elsewhere.

It’s not that I don’t feel the same concerns as others, whether we’re talking globally, nationally, or just in my day-to-day life. But, by allowing myself to fixate on the fear-mongering flooding social media, I bog myself down with things of this world…rather than things of the next life, if I am so fortunate to stand beside Jesus in heaven on those last days.

More, I throw myself into a never-ending spiral of berating myself–quite harshly, I might add–for things left undone, which leads to self-doubt and feeling overwhelmed, of life being out of control–my control–when it should always be given over to His control. I know He will never fail me, but I inevitably try to take back the reins again.

And fail…each and every time.

Usually in the form of an alphabet soup of OCD, PTSD, ADD, IBS, CFS, and Chronic Epstein-Barr kicking up, each one triggering the other, until I’m barely treading life’s waters. When will I ever learn?

It’s not in my hands to control. It’s in His. And, of course, all of the things we read about, the things that fill us with fear? Most of it never comes to pass anyway.

Thoughts, like words, matter. Thoughts, like words, have power. And they can either lift us up…or tear us down.

What are you telling yourself? Would you speak as harshly to another? And is the food for thought that you’re feeding yourself nourishing your soul? Or creating a toxic waste dump deep down inside? Does what you read, write, or share fill you with peace–His peace? Or are you feeling that ol’ devil, Anxiety, kicking up a notch?

These days, I’m falling into the latter category. How ’bout you?

May God bless you & keep you!

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Convenience Over Quality

“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.” (Romans 1:28)

Despite my longing for a 19th century style of life, unprocessed foods and clean soil with which to grow food, I live in the 21st century. When I’m feeling tired, rundown, or overwhelmed, it’s pretty easy to cave into temptation and reach for a package of Ramen noodles. Or a can of Campbell’s soup. Would that there were healthier options available in that time of need. Would that I still spent Sundays cooking and baking a mountain of food to freeze for such times again.

Convenience is the reward for either my laziness, or my lack of foresight, in planning ahead for such “rainy” days. The price is a body that feels stiff and tired, eyes that burn with fatigue, and a head that’s filled with so much fog, I might need a foghorn to warn any incoming data of potential rocks up ahead.

Of course, there’s a snowball effect here, too. As I reach for convenience, I also find myself sleeping later, but not feeling rested. Regular prayer life, yoga and Ayurveda practices, daily walks, and just some quiet time alone have fallen by the wayside. How did I get into this rut? Was it only from another snowball effect of job losses, injuries and toxic relationships that led me here? Or something more?

The campaign ads are correct that so many of our illnesses come from what’s in our food. I have Irritable Bowel/Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Chronic Epstein-Barr. Childhood trauma, and the stress that comes with it, certainly contributed to these conditions, but our food system played its part, too. Mom was a single mother for many years, struggling to get by. She married an alcoholic, who was forever losing jobs because he was hung over and “couldn’t” work before an injury permanently disabled him, so the struggle not only continued, but increased on the stress barometer. We lived on a diet of Campbell’s soup, Rice-A-Roni, Noodle Roni, Hamburger Helper, and white flour products.

We couldn’t afford better. And most families cannot afford better today. In fact, the campaign ads are also correct that it’s gotten worse since I was a kid in the late-60s and 70s.

The answer is to hold myself accountable for my choices, take baby steps, such as ordering a salad at a restaurant instead of “loaded” fries, or writing a blog post that doesn’t make a lot of sense…but doing it anyway. Taking these small steps, and slowly increasing, until I’m feeling more like myself again. And giving back by making healthier foods and supplements (i.e. herbs) not only a staple in my own life, but a cornerstone of this homestead.

Of course, prayer is the biggest answer. Giving it all to God, taking it to Jesus in prayer, giving Him my lazy, my lack of foresight, my tired, stiff body, and allowing Him to build a lighthouse to avoid those rocks in the fog is the best blueprint for success. He is the One “convenience” that gives the best quality of life. Ever.

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Christianity, Chronic Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Compassion, God/Jesus, Healing, Holistic Health, Homesteading, Human rights, Humanity First, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Politics, Scripture

Right and Left

“A wise man’s heart inclines him toward the right, but a fool’s heart toward the left.” (Ecclesiastes 10-2)

Yeah, I confess, I might’ve been listening more to the little guy with the pitchfork seated on my left shoulder when I posted this line of Scripture on social media the other day rather than the guy with the angel’s wings on the right. I certainly heard a rather devilish snicker.

But it’s funny how He works.

The Lord can take even our less than stellar motives, actions, etc. and still use them for His good. Sometimes it’s just to shine the light on something.

You see, back in 2020, I often shared the most hateful and cruel memes designed to slander and poke fun at then-President Donald Trump. I had bought into the mainstream media narrative that he was the second coming of Hitler and he should be banished from all society. And every time, that man with the pitchfork not only snickered, but wrung his hands in glee. No, Mr. Trump is far from perfect. And he’s certainly done some questionable things.

But so have I.

And so have you.

We all fall short of the glory of God. Because we’re human, not God. We may strive to be Christ-like, and that’s truly worth striving for. In fact, it’s the only goal worth obtaining. But, as we take those steps closer to Him, it’s also important to remember that others are on the same journey…and we should be cheering them on, not tearing them down. Still more have never even started that journey and what example are we setting to lead them along with us? We’re all sinners. And He loves each. And every. One of us.

Including former-President Donald Trump.

Now, fast forward to 2024. After much reflection, and having watched countless interviews and speeches from Mr. Trump, I’m no longer with CNN and MSNBC when they crucify him daily for things they give others a Pasadena for. Heck, they even blamed him for getting shot in the ear. Seriously? How much of their hateful vituperative has led to, I think we’re at, three attempts on the man’s life? Words matter. And they can have deadly consequences. Whatever we think of Mr. Trump and his policies, he is somebody’s husband, father, grandfather.

Today, though I voted for her and Biden in 2020, I don’t believe Kamala Harris is the answer. She flip flops on too many issues that I believe she will flip flop back against if elected (gun buy backs, fracking, defunding the police). But I try not to sling any hate at her as I did Donald Trump in 2020. Do I succeed? Obviously not. The barely veiled snicker over a line of Scripture that was clearly used for political reasons proves it. Instead of memes, I try to share videos that shine a light on her record as a DA, an AG, and VP. What has she done? What hasn’t she done that maybe she should have? I.e. I try to keep it about policy, accomplishments and failures, not her person. Again, I don’t always succeed. But that is the goal I strive for. And I try to remain cognizant that she is somebody’s wife, stepmother, sister.

Words matter.

But here’s the thing: despite my recent lack of decorum, He’s using this to shine a light right back on my behavior from 2020. The same staunch Democrat friends who gloated and then waged an attack on my Republican friends and family members in 2020 when I shared memes that were insulting and hurtful to them, slapped back against me and my post with mockery, sarcasm, and in some cases, even verbal abuse. They *got* the dig for which the sharing of this line of Scripture was intended against the “Left” or Democrat party.

And that’s not what His word was intended for.

However, He is using this lapse, not only to shine a light on my behavior, but to point to the same insidious behavior that has plagued our society since the creation of social media: the lack of accountability and loss of humanity in our responses to people we cannot see on the other side of the keyboard. We forget that they are friends and neighbors, family and co-workers. And, even when others are ugly about things, the rest of us shouldn’t respond with more ugliness. No politician is going to step in and stop the divide. They want our votes. It is up to us to step up to the plate and remember the hearts and minds that have blessed our lives in the past, and continue to bless our lives today.

Because God loves each and every one of us. Always.

Does this mean I won’t share anymore memes? Probably not. But it’s about policy this time, not the person.

For me, I cheered when Roe v. Wade was overturned and the abortion issue was returned to individual states to decide. It’s a lie that the more conservative states won’t perform a D&C to save a mother’s life. But this is another blog post in the making…and I’ll never solve the dilemma on my own and will only stir up hatred and anger and even violence if I continue to pursue it. But that’s where I stand on the abortion “rights” issue.

I also cheered when both Robert Kennedy, Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard endorsed Donald Trump. I’m tired of seeing so many people struggling with chronic health issues (myself included) due to the poison that’s in our food, our water, our soil, our so-called “medicine”, etc. I hope Mr. Trump follows through in giving them each a place in his administration next January. I hope Mr. Kennedy, alongside Senator Rand Paul, does a thorough investigation into Dr. Fauci and the NIH regarding gain-of-function research once Mr. Trump is in office again. I also don’t want to have to place the word “organic” in front of my food anymore. I want cruelty-free and organic practices to be put into place throughout every aspect of farming. I would like to retain the right to grow and raise my own food and medicines, but I also want to see healthy, wholesome food available in the grocery store, or market, for every single person on this planet. And I believe Mr. Kennedy would do everything possible to make that happen if he’s allowed that place in another Trump administration.

Lastly, I see far too many parallels in this transgender movement that is targeting minors and the pedophilia I grew up as a child. Both ask children to make life-altering decisions about their bodies before they’re mature enough to truly understand the consequences. Yes, gender dysphoria is a real thing. But it’s also true that, depending on your source, 75%-90% of those diagnosed with it, outgrow it once they’re through puberty. It breaks my heart to see otherwise healthy young girls having full mastectomies…especially when I consider the trauma every woman who has ever had to have one to save her life from breast cancer experiences. How is mutilating young bodies an answer? How is rendering any child sterile from having children of their own someday an answer? Far too many who have detransitioned have found that they do not go into a late puberty but, for many young women, they go straight into menopause. How is that okay?

So those are the rocks I stand on…that, and I’d like to stop seeing Christians mocked and derided and denied the same 1st Amendment rights that other religions enjoy in this country. But He did say the world will hate us because we are His.

May God bless you & keep you!

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Rebooting – A Wednesday Weed Walk

“And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom, understanding, counsel and might; the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord” (Isaiah 11:2)

I wrote the following post in 2010. I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately and I’ve realized that, especially with a possible economic depression looming, my posts about natural remedies and wild edibles, and frugal tips, may be needed more than ever. As I get back into blogging, I’ve started reading through older posts. While I encourage everyone to go back and read some of these earlier posts, I know that many will not have time to do so. So, to those who may have followed me in earlier times, my apologies for any redundancies but, they bear repeating. There will be more going forward.

May God bless you & yours as we traverse these uncertain times!

Enjoy:

It is the scourge of every landscaper, of every grumpy old man hoping to obtain that perfectly manicured lawn without the broken contrast of colorful, yellow blossoms. “This notable “weed” is often needed most by those who love to pull it–fiery, excitable and, often, angry folks–because it clears what in Traditional Chinese Medicine is regarded as Liver Heat, a congestion that causes this energy” (M. Tierra, The Way of Herbs, 1998).

I am talking about Taraxacum officinale…The Dandelion.  In Chinese medicine it is called Pu Gong Ying. In Ayurveda–or East Indian medicine–the Sanskrit word for dandelion is Atirasa. Other common names for this little “weed” have been Blow Ball, Cankerwort, Lion’s Tooth and Wild Endive so, perhaps, instead of lamenting the “dandelions” in your lawn, you can rejoice in your abundant crop of Lion’s Tooth?

The dandelion comes from the family: Compositae.

All parts of this plant are used medicinally and also, nutritionally.  Both the leaves and the roots have a cooling energy.  The leaves have a bitter flavor, the roots both sweet and bitter.

As a medicine, the healing properties of this little plant are as an alterative–or blood purifier, and as a chologogue, which means it aids digestion by discharging bile into the small intestine to relieve excess stomach acids.  It is a diuretic, an aperient–or laxative, a galactogogue, which means it promotes the flow of breast milk for lactating mothers, and it can be used as a tonic to promote the functioning of all systems in the body.

The main benefits of this plant are exerted upon the function of the liver.  It has the capacity to clear obstructions, to stimulate and aid the liver in eliminating toxins in the blood.  In this way, it is used as a blood purifier.  This is also due to its high mineral content.

The root can be used to also clear obstructions of the spleen, pancreas, gallbladder and kidneys.  It is of tremendous benefit to both the stomach and intestines. For stomach aches, dandelion root tea can be safely taken in doses of 1/2 cup every 1/2 hour until the stomachache is relieved.

For hepatitis, dandelion root tea may be taken in cupful doses 4-6 times daily with a light, easily-digested diet of vegetable soup broth, and rice and mung bean porridge.  Even the most serious cases of hepatitis have been rapidly cured using this treatment, sometimes within a week (Tierra, 1998).

Renowned herbalist and author of several books on herbal medicine–including “The Way of Herbs”, Michael Tierra, considers the root specific for hypoglycemia when it is combined with other tonic herbs such as ginseng and ginger.  And he states it can also be used to remedy the recent onset of diabetes when combined with huckleberry leaf in a tea.

Dandelion has been known to decrease high blood pressure, aid in the healing or curing of anemia; dropsy; PMS; urinary complaints; inward ulcers of the urinary passage; atonic dyspepcia; rheumatism; red, swollen and painful eyes; firm, hard abscesses; sores; breast abscesses; tumors; cysts; mastitis; gout; arthritis, and skin conditions such as rashes caused by measles, chicken pox, eczema, poison ivy and poison oak.  It relieves painful urination, promotes lactation, aids indigestion, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, jaundice, cirrhosis, constipation, urinary, bladder and kidney infections, in the treatment of both gall and kidney stones, scurvy and scrofula.

In Chinese medicine, its cooling properties are used to treat painful swellings, infections, inflammations, boils, abscesses, dental cavities, swollen eyes and throats, sore throats, fever and mumps.  It has a special affect on the breasts and is used as a breast cancer preventative.  Chinese medicine uses it to reduce tumors and cysts, mastitis and swollen lymph nodes.

Traditionally, Native Americans used the dandelion to treat snake bites.

Ayurveda–East Indian–practitioners use it for dysentary, fevers, vomiting and as an anti-poison.

Dandelion leaf tea is one of the finest diuretics known, equal to any known drug remedy.  It can be taken for fluid retention–i.e. edema, cystitis, nephritis and even as an aid in weight loss.

However, a word of caution here, the FDA has not evaluated these statements and, though I have a lot of faith in herbal medicine–more so than in most allopathic practices, the contents of this blog are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any diseases and should not replace any treatment with your primary care physician.

That being said, nutritionally, dandelion root can be cut and dried, and combined with roasted acorns and roasted rye to make a fine alternative to coffee–without the harmful caffeine!

You harvest the leaves in spring before the flower heads bloom.  They can be eaten raw as a salad or steamed with other beneficial greens such as chicory and endive to help combat the onset of spring colds and flu.  Albeit, another word of caution, both dandelion and chicory can be quite bitter to some palates and might be better tolerated mixed with something like spinach or Swiss chard.

Dandelions are rich in natural protein, iron, calcium, phosphorus, inulin, potassium, vitamins C, G, all the B vitamins–especially B12 and contains more beta carotene than carrots.  They are also high in vitamin A, having 7000 units as opposed to the 1275 units contained in carrots.

I feed dandelion greens on an almost daily basis to my rabbits.  They are beloved by my ducks and chickens, guinea pigs, birds, dogs and, to a lesser degree, even my cats will sometimes nibble on a leaf or two.  They provide many of the same benefits to the liver and kidneys in animals as they do for humans.  In the documentary, “Juliette of the Herbs”, an autobiography of the life of revered herbalist, Juliette de Bairacli Levy, there is an interview with a breeder of Newfoundlands who tells of how feeding one of her prized Newfoundlands dandelion greens saved her dog’s life.  This was an animal who had been given only a short time to live due to kidney failure.  The owner had read one of Juliette’s books where it recommended a fast and then a diet of dandelion greens.  She didn’t think the dog would even try them; instead, she “licked the bowl clean” (Streeten, 1998).

Of course, the Christian witch in me had to look up the magickal properties of this little wonder.  I found, in my research, that dandelions were used by Early Americans to counteract impotence Hutchins, 1992).  Interestingly, the high vitamin A content in the dandelion is essential in the production of both male and female sex hormones so, perhaps, there’s something to this old wives’ tale…

Blow on a dried dandelion’s head (hence, the folk name “Blow Ball”…) and your wish will come true if you blow all of the seeds off in one breath.  This is said to be particularly effective as a love letter as dandelions provide a sort of magickal messenger service.  Allegedly, the seeds will carry loving messages and wishes to the one you love.  Focus hard on your hearts’ desire and blow…

Dandelion is, if you combine “white” witchcraft with astrology, a Jupiter plant.  Jupiter rules prosperity and money, health and good luck.  When picking dandelions on a Thursday–said to be a Jupiter day–in the moonlight, you will attract wealth and prosperity into your life.

Lastly, dandelions are said to be effective in summoning spirits.  I do not necessarily advocate this practice for myself but, for educational purposes, I am including the directions I found in a book I have on the subject:

1.  Place a cup of hot, steaming dandelion tea beside your bed just before you go to sleep.

2.  Watch the steam waft upwards as you call upon your desired spirits.

3.  When it cools, have a sip, turn off the lights and go to sleep.

4.  Take another sip of cold tea when you awaken and you may stimulate enhanced dream recall…(Dugan, 2003)

With all of this said, I believe every garden should have at least a small patch of Taraxacum officinale

Works Cited

Dugan, Ellen. Garden Witchery: Magick from the Ground Up. Llewellyn Publications, 2003.

Hutchins, Alma R. A Handbook of Native American Herbs: A Guide to 125 Medicinal Plants and their Uses. Shambhala, 1992.

Streeten, Tish. Juliette of the Herbs. Mobinogian Films, 1998.

Tierra, Michael. The Way of Herbs. Pocket Books, 1998.

If you can, please consider a donation to the link below. If you cannot, if you could share the link, I would greatly appreciate it:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-this-animal-sanctuary-grow-and-thrive

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Wednesday’s Weed Walk – Zingiberis officinalis

“And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed to which it shall be for meat’.” (Genesis 1:29)

I use ginger (Zingiberis officinalis) for everything! It’s in the asthma tincture I shared about recently; it’s in my digest tea (see recipe below); it’s in the golden milk I drink to control my Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I put it in a winter tonic. I also make and eat gingerbread and ginger snap cookies (or small cakes, as we used to say in the 19th century). I mean, it is so versatile and I’ll bet most of the people reading this have it in their spice cabinet right now.

Ginger has many healing properties. It is said to be a “stimulant, diaphoretic, carminative, emmenagogue, expectorant, antiemetic, analgesic, antispasmodic, stomachic, antipyretic, and antimicrobial (Tierra, 2003, p. 87). It has been used to treat motion sickness. It’s great for any lung complaint, such as asthma, bronchitis, and even pneumonia. It’s a stimulant for people with poor circulation. It has been used in poultices to ease the pain of arthritis. It’s capable of soothing sore throats and easing menstrual cramps. It’s also good for indigestion, nausea and flatulence. In fact, if you’ve ever had candied ginger, this was one of the earliest “treats” found in the local “country” or “general” store, along with horehound and lemon drops. Candying these “medicines” was a way to get children to take them. Think of Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar” to help the “medicine go down”.

The FDA has not evaluated these statements. This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any diseases.

Despite being a Christian, I have spent years studying Wicca and have a lot of respect for this religion. According to their traditions, ginger is said to “lend power” when “performing spells” as ginger is warming by nature and is particularly effective for “love spells” (Cunningham, 2006, p. 125). Supposedly, if you plant the whole root, you will attract money into your life, too. It is also recommended that you sprinkle some powdered ginger into your pockets, which could be interesting, to say the least ;).

Though we had ginger growing in the herb garden at the living history museum I used to work at, I have never tried growing it at home. My garden is still in the landscaping stages owing to when I have the necessary resources, such as time or money, to finish…or I dig down into that Yankee ingenuity to re-purpose something for the job. However, it seems to grow just fine in New England and overwinters with a healthy layer of mulch covering it. The only issues we had at the museum was that the groundhogs liked it a little spicy; we could never keep either the ginger root (it’s the root we use, not the leaves or other aerial parts) or the horseradish completely free of their nibbling. Surrounding it with chicken wire might do the trick. It’s worth a shot.

Whether you’re healing a bout of indigestion, casting a love spell, or baking some gingerbread to enjoy with family and friends, planting some ginger root in the garden, or simply buying some powdered organic, I’m confident you’ll find some new and effective uses for this little powerhouse.

May God bless you & keep you!

Digest Tea

1 tablespoon chamomile
½ tablespoon fennel
1/8 teaspoon of ginger
1 pinch of cardamom (with both the ginger and the cardamom, this is more to taste rather than science)

Heat water in a stainless steel kettle or sauce pan (water should be hot but not boiling; I often bring it to a boil and then let it sit for a few minutes so as not to damage the healing properties in each plant). Pour over the measured herbs/spices. Cover with a lid and allow it to steep for 20 minutes. Strain (or you may use a tea ball) and, if desired, add some honey to sweeten.

This is great about ½ hour before a meal…or as a soothing treat before bed.

REFERENCES

Cunningham, Scott (2006). Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs, 2nd edition. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications.

Tierra, Lesley (2003). Healing with the Herbs of Life. Berkeley, CA: Crossing Press.

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Stay tuned…

…our regularly scheduled program will be back as soon as I’ve finished my final exam this week! =)

Stay safe, stay healthy…May God bless you & keep you!

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A Thrifty Thursday – Leftover Rice

“You feed them with blessings from your own table and let them drink from your rivers of delight.” (Psalms 36:8)

I consider The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn to be one of my secular bibles. When I first purchased it many years ago, I poured through it with all of the enthusiasm of a school girl with her first crush. I mean, who can’t appreciate some tips for saving money? And the ideas contained therein are relevant even 20+ years after its publication.

Mom made wild rice the other day. Rice is truly one of those thrifty foods anyway. A little bit goes a long way. However, because it is also filling (though not heavy and bloating in nature like pasta), there is usually some left over for another day.

If it is plain rice, either white, brown, basmati, etc., I like to re-heat it in the morning by placing the rice in a saucepan with some melted butter and sauteing it. Once heated through, I may add just a little more butter and 1/2 tsp of organic cane sugar sprinkled and stirred through. It makes a hearty, satisfying breakfast and keeps me going for much of the morning.

However, Mom made wild rice. This was an organic packaged rice. Even organic “packaged” isn’t the healthiest choice, but it’s better for someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome than pasta (though I love the latter equally as much). It would also not, in my opinion, lend itself well as an alternative to, say, oatmeal first thing in the a.m. so I pulled out The Tightwad Gazette and flipped through the back index until I found what I was looking for: a recipe for turning your leftover rice into a savory “pie crust” for quiche. It’s simple. Grab a mixing bowl. Combine the leftover rice with an egg and a bit of shredded cheese (you may omit the latter if you don’t have any; the egg holds it together) then mold it into a pie plate and pop it in an oven heated to–it says 425 degrees for 20 minutes. I set my dial at 400, because my oven tends to run hot, and only baked for 10 minutes. I have found that if I go longer, it comes out a little too crispy. While it baked, I rummaged through the refrigerator, pulled out the leftover broccoli and cheese, some fresh spinach, and heated them both in a skillet with some garlic and chives, then scrambled some eggs. When the “pie crust” was done, I poured the vegetables and herbs into it and then poured the egg over them. I used 3 eggs; depending on the size of your pie pan, you may opt for more. Then I popped everything in the oven, same 400 degree temperature, and baked for 50 minutes…or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. It was delicious.

Bon appetit!

May God bless you & keep you!

REFERENCES

Dacyczyn, Amy (1998). The Complete Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle. New York, NY: Villard Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group.

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Gratitude for Community

“Is there any such thing as Christians cheering each other up? Do you love me enough to want to help me? Does it mean anything to you that we are brothers in the Lord, sharing the same Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic at all? Then make me truly happy by loving each other and agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, working together with one heart and mind and purpose” (Philippians 2:1-2)

I’m feeling so grateful today. My church community is helping out with my situation and words cannot describe how grateful I am. There’s been an onslaught of emotions: hope, joy, relief…and, yes, even a little shame and embarrassment. The last vestiges of an attempt to hang onto pride…or maybe the adversary’s feeble attempts to keep pride’s hold on me.

But Jesus will always be stronger. God’s got this. So, take that, adversary!

There’s something to be said for community. Maybe that is the lesson He wants me to learn (above and beyond the pride thing…).

I’ve always dreamed of living like a hermit in the woods, the whole “Walden” thing. My dream home is in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature, and living like it’s still the 19th century. Maybe there’s something to it. Solitude and simplicity are needed for a healthy life balance, but without fellowship with others, what’s the point? And even Henry David Thoreau wrote about visitors to his little cabin in the woods. We need both. If I can hang on to this place, or if He wants me to sock this money away for a potential move, either way, I want my homestead to be a welcoming place: for family gatherings; for friends sitting around a campfire at night; for prayer meetings; for knitting, sewing, quilting circles; for clients to have their treatments; for hosting classes about herbs, 19th century skills, and no-dig gardening…and even a refuge for those caught in the eye of their own personal storms.

I’ve blogged before about how I crave solitude like flowers crave the sun and rain. And it’s true. I’m the classic introvert. Too many people, too often, and I start to feel a little sick at heart. I retreat inward. Not because I’m anti-social, but because that’s how it is for an introvert. For an introvert, too much social time quickly becomes overwhelming. We enjoy time with our loved ones, and even strangers, but the introvert greatly needs that balance between solitude and socialization to keep recharging.

However, over the last decade, I’ve taken solitude to a whole new level. Some of it has been the 2 years of unemployment, followed by 8 years of severe underemployment. When socializing equals an event that requires an entrance fee, I’ve often had to reconsider. Some of it though–most of it–has been the depression that often comes with that same unemployment/underemployment. Due to a lack of steady and adequate funds, the house, the grounds, even myself, have started looking neglected. There’s also a lot of emotional baggage attached from the last “romantic” relationship I was in, that was anything but romantic, that has had me drawing the curtains tight and shutting out the world.

And, boy, does the adversary feed on that!

In many ways, though I’m not living in the middle of nowhere, I’ve allowed myself to become almost as isolated as if I was living in the middle of nowhere. And isolation is defeating. The neglect becomes indifference becomes more depression becomes more neglect becomes more indifference…until the effort to dig yourself out of this vicious cycle becomes so overwhelming, you don’t know where to turn, where to start. That’s where the hopelessness sets in.

And loneliness.

Despair.

Even bitterness.

Thank God, literally, for the fellowship He’s blessed me with! It started with certain friends and co-workers reaching out with a helping hand over the last several months. This time, it was a church member who saw my Go Fund Me campaign and brought it to the attention of our priest. And, truly, though the financial help is a blessing and appreciated, the true blessing is knowing how many people out there care enough to help. I’m overwhelmed…but in a good way.

I’ve been sitting back here, feeling sorry for myself, indulging the adversary with my “cares” and “woes” and getting nowhere in life. Today I’m feeling hope for the first time in a very long time. Yes, there’s still a risk of losing the homestead. I still missed the deadline for the second installment on the modification trial period and I don’t know where that leaves me. However, I’m that much closer to meeting the back payments owed. Or to engaging an attorney who can help me get back on track again. It’s help to tide us over until I’m working again…or to help us start over on a new homestead. I’m leaving it in His hands to decide, praying for His guidance regarding the best course of action.

Our God truly is an awesome God. Thank you! To everyone who has been moved to help, to share, to pass along the information. I don’t feel quite so alone anymore. And that’s the greatest blessing of all.

I hope everyone reading this is as blessed with community as I am.

May God bless you & keep you!

gofundme.com/9fymzf-medical-leave

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Down and Out

“I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27)

I want to believe those words. I want to believe His grace is sufficient for this particular trial. I want to believe that He has something special planned at the end of it all.

But, today, I’m down and out for the count.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the way to bounce back up again. I hope so. Right now the fear and anguish in my soul is almost more than I can bear. Proof that there’s still fight left in me that I can feel such emotions, such protest, but, if I’m meant to go through this, if there’s something He means for me to learn that I didn’t learn the first time around, there’s a part of me even fighting that.

So much for laying it at the cross. But what other choice do I have? All of my efforts have gotten me nowhere. But where do I go from here? What does He want me to do? To go?

Losing the house, the land, I can bear. It’s potentially having to re-home the animals if I cannot find a farm where I might board them until I get on my feet again…and, of course, for a fee that I can manage in my current situation. My heart is breaking at the thought. And, at the moment, I’m not feeling God’s love. I’m feeling His anger. I’m feeling the punitive “father” that reflects the neglect of my biological father and the abuse of my stepfather. “Father” for me has always implied mistrust. Is He trying to heal this once and for all? Or is this going to cement it once and for all in my heart that the word “father” is equivalent to a dirty swear word?

No, I don’t hate men, and certainly not fathers. There are good ones in the world. I’ve just never known that love…at least not without personal cost. And you’re never too old to need that love–His love.

Right now, I really need a healthy dose of it. And as many prayers as I can get.

May God bless you & keep you!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/9fymzf-medical-leave&rcid=r01-156707024092-4fb3fb58787b443d&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

19th century, Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal Rights, Animals, Appreciation, aquaponics, Art, Bereavement, Biodynamic, Birthday Wishes, Books, Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Chronic Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Climate Change, Compassion, compost, Cooking, Creativity, Culture, ecosystems, Emergency Preparedness, Enlightenment, Environment, Exhaustion, Faith, Family, Fashion, Fiber Arts, Fleece, Forgiveness, Friendship, Frugality, Gaia, gardening, Ghosts, Global Warming, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Greenhouse, Grief, Gun Control, Hauntings, Healing, Heavy Metal Music, Herbs, History, Holidays, Holistic Health, Homesteading, illness, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Lasagna Gardening, Lent, LGBTQ, Love, Memories, Minimalism, Mother Mary, Music, Nature, No-dig Gardening, Nostalgia, OCD, Open-mindedness, Organic, permaculture, Politics, Potted Plants, Prayer, Reading, Recipes, Reflexology, Reiki, Religion, Rock & Roll, Scripture, Self-esteem, Self-improvement, Sleep Deprivation, Social Media, Sophia, Spices, Spinning, Spirituality, Straw Braiding, Supernatural, Touch for Health, Understanding, vermicomposting, Weaving, Wicca, Wool, Worm castings, Worm Tea, Writing, Yoga & Fitness, Zero Waste

Laying Everything at the Cross

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy He knew would be His afterwards; and now He sits in the place of honor by the throne of God” (Hebrews 2:12)

After Saturday’s widely-publicized meltdown, I went outside and attacked the giant multi-flora rosebush climbing over the back fence. And “attacked” is definitely a good word for it.

I pruned ruthlessly.

It pruned me of blood just as ruthlessly.

I look like I’ve just narrowly escaped a particularly nasty cat fight but I can now walk under the multi-flora rosebush without losing even more blood…and a thorny branch’s worth of hair. This particular stretch of fence line has been a problem “child” as the ducks and chickens know I can’t get underneath the rose bush to check the fencing. Now I can. I found an almost-duck-sized gap in a low spot underneath; I shoved an old cage in front of it for now and will find something more permanent going forward.

I also found several bird’s nests in the upper reaches of the bush…and delighted in them. I should probably add that this bush has been allowed to climb up and over the 6 foot chain-link fence. Despite its invasive nature, I allow it to stay as it does provide shelter for the birds, shade for my chickens and ducks in summer, and beauty for all of us when it blooms. And my goats had a feast on the leaves I pruned off (Really guys? There’s THORNS!!). It simply needed a good trim to keep it manageable.

Somewhere along the way I lost the anger and angst that so overwhelmed me earlier that morning.

Maybe it was finding those bird’s nests in the bush. Maybe it was watching the new ducklings exploring the world outside of the pen they and their Mama have been in since they hatched for the first time; they’re finally big enough that I don’t have to worry about them slipping through the gate jamb or even the chain-links(!). Maybe it was marveling over the goats’ delight at the new “treat” awaiting them with each cut of the loppers…thorns and all. Maybe it was retrieving a few dozen eggs from the nests and watching Miss Opal, one of my Buff Orpington chickens, streaking across the yard, squawking loudly, in celebration of those eggs. Either way, I found myself laughing often, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air, and the warm company of my beloved pets. Such a sense of peace settled over me. It was bittersweet, in light of my current situation but this is home.

And I’m not losing it.

It may not be this particular plot of land in the end but the farm and I will survive, together, intact, some way, somehow.

I may sound determined. I may also sound unrealistic and delusional. But I’m not giving up.

I bought this property with a husband, now an ex-husband. Two incomes can handle it; one income will always struggle…unless I can find a way to pull in enough income to equal what two could do. Maybe that’s out there somewhere. Or maybe He’s giving me a much-needed shove to look elsewhere. If this was where I was meant to be, I’d be thriving.

Or maybe He’s telling me I need to learn how to thrive wherever I am, however I am.

Either way, God has this. He knows where I am, what’s happening in my life, in my heart, in my thoughts. God has a plan. There’s a reason He’s brought me around full circle to this place of uncertainty and fear. I don’t know what it is. And I haven’t stopped being scared shitless. But I’m surrendering my will to His. He’s brought me to this place one more time; I’m trusting Him to carry me through it.

May God bless you & keep you!

PS I would also be delighted, and ever in your debt, if you would share the Go Fund Me campaign link below in your blog, your social media sites, etc. The wider I cast my net, the greater chances for that miracle I’m so in need of. 😉

https://www.gofundme.com/f/9fymzf-medical-leave&rcid=r01-156682970061-1e1042ab1d164daa&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w