Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animals, Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Compassion, Exhaustion, Faith, Frugality, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Herbs, Homesteading, Minimalism, Politics, Prayer, Prepping, Proofreading, Religion, Scripture, Spinning, Weaving, Writing, YouTube

Going Forward

“You have rejected us, O God, and burst forth upon us; you have been angry–now restore us! You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fracturs, for it is quaking. You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger. But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled against the bow. Selah” (Psalm 60: 1-4)

            The water’s out again. It’s happening more frequently these days. We’ll have running water for a few days, and then the taps will run dry for 2, 3…one time 9 days’ straight. We’ve considered that a combination of local drought, mixed with the flood we had last year, may have run the well dry—or semi-dry. That’s a scary thought but, a credible one. Of course, it could still be that I need to replace the pump, or the resident rodent population chewed a wire somewhere. At this point, we simply don’t know. And the means to find out exactly what’s wrong, and actually get it fixed, is beyond me at the moment. We could be talking tens of thousands of dollars when all is said and done.

As I said in a previous post, I am bodaciously tired of all of this. The struggle has become unbearable. Moving would be our best option. This may be home but, home needs way more TLC than I can give it to make it comfortable and safe again. The problem is my credit is toast at this point. Can I hang in here long enough to rebuild my credit before home becomes completely uninhabitable? We’re almost there now.

            So many things, so many worries…I still have some juvenile felines that need spaying. The roof still leaks. Even when the water runs, there’s no hot water; the tank died a year and a half ago. We heat water for bathing on the stove…or rather the hot plate. The stove no longer works either. The house is a fright. This last because I’ve allowed depression to get the better of me. The task is too enormous and there never seems to be enough time. It’s nothing some serious elbow grease wouldn’t fix but, still, it can be overwhelming with all that needs doing and fixing. I’d love to rent the biggest dumpster imaginable and just toss almost everything in it, start anew, and less is best.

            On the plus side, my friend’s little boy made his First Communion yesterday. What a cause for rejoicing! His little face was aglow as he accepted the body of Christ for the first time. Quite a lot of extended family came to church to celebrate with him, including his older brother home from college. The only downside was the low number of children making that First Communion. I praise God for the 5 who received it. However, I remember the long line of children making their First Communion when I was a child. Sad that people do not make religious education a priority today. Maybe we’d have fewer shootings, fewer suicides, less drug addiction and abuse. Maybe not but, even a tiny seed of hope planted in the heart can do wonders. That’s what Jesus does for you; He fills you with hope. When you have Him, no earthly concern can truly hurt you.

            I’m also doing a weed walk next month, my first. I hope to create new business cards beforehand so I can pass them out to any who join the walk. I’m hoping to build a local following before I start uploading videos to YouTube. I want to get comfortable with the teaching aspect of it before I have to do it on camera. There’s also the whole technical learning curve before YouTube becomes a *thing* in my life. I will, of course, share the link once I finally do hit YouTube. In the meantime, there’s local weed walks and workshops…and a renewed commitment to build a brand through my blogs.

Yes, blogs…with an S.

Most who have been following me for a while know I also have an author’s page. I’m still working on the first novel but, I occasionally do book reviews on my author’s page. I am looking to get more intentional with that, too. The link is https://lisaburbank.wordpress.com

Then there’s the latest blog. This one started as a classroom assignment. We were asked to build a website for selling your product(s) and/or services online as a freelance writer. Well, I confess, I don’t sell any services as a freelance writer. Maybe in time I will. I’m pretty good at editing. And I’m gaining some experience with grant writing since becoming the director of a library. But, as a student, even having scaled back to part-time studies, the time needed to edit another’s work, or assist someone in the grant writing process, would be overwhelming. And, to be honest, when I consider selling those services, it makes more sense to me to do so through my author’s page.

However, that didn’t fly with the professor; I tried. It had to be a new website.

Now that the boring bibliography-about-nothing-in-particular is gone, I can revamp it.

Over the years, The Herbal Hare has been such a hodge-podge of *stuff*. I’m looking to get more intentional with what I include here vs. what should probably go somewhere else. For example, some years’ ago, I wrote a piece about growing up with alcoholism in the home and how it affects the whole family, sometimes for generations. I received a lot of new followers but, it didn’t have anything to do with homesteading, herbs, or prepping, and I lost a lot of those followers who didn’t like the new direction. I’ve also gotten social/political a time or two…and alienated some readers with that. I’m hoping that https://auntielisaspeaks.com will be an alternative. The Herbal Hare will remain a blog about herbs, homesteading, prepping, fiber arts, frugal living, minimalism, antiquated skills, animal husbandry and, yeah, still a bit of a hodge-podge. Homesteading encompasses a lot of ground.

Auntie Lisa Speaks will be one-part memoir, one-part social commentary, and one-part call to action to remember that no matter the issue, there’s a real person on the other end of the screen. Their thoughts and feelings do matter, and their struggles are real. Part of that call to action will also be a call to follow Christ; our country really needs God back at the center of things again.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Bereavement, Brothers & Sisters, Christianity, Climate Change, Community, Cooking, Culture, Emergency Preparedness, Faith, Family, Fashion, Fiber Arts, Fleece, Frugality, gardening, God/Jesus, Healing, Herbs, History, Homesteading, Human rights, Humanity First, Introvert, Minimalism, Nature, Politics, Prepping, Wool, YouTube

The Call to Homestead

“I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8)

The need to become more self-sufficient has moved from yearning to this almost panic-filled need. We’re running out of time. Both economic depression and the threat of nuclear war loom, and our leaders fly off to Davos to plot how to take everything away from the average working class citizen. There have been countless headlines quoting Mr. Schwab as saying we will own nothing and we will be happy about it. I’m probably paraphrasing a bit but, the overall gist is there. Yes, I can play devil’s advocate here a moment and say, sure, maybe it’s propaganda, a conspiracy theory. But, what if it isn’t? What if the goal really is a 15 minute city where we will own nothing for ourselves?

Would we be happier without ownership?

First of all, as a Christian, anything I own I do so by the grace of God. What I have truly belongs to Him. Would I be happier having those gifts taken away?

Despite the new position at the library, I’m still staring foreclosure in the face. It’s a lengthy and stressful process and there’s no guarantee that I will be successful in my endeavors. One could argue that, if I wasn’t a homeowner, this stress would not exist. I wouldn’t be fretting about losing everything that I have worked for in my life up to this point. And that is true. There’s also the multitude of repairs that fall on my shoulders as homeowner…repairs that have gotten out of hand in recent years. There’s the zoning issue still hovering over me like a black cloud. In short, the more you have, the more you stand to lose.

But, let’s spin this around a bit.

If we don’t own anything, what is the point of working, of setting goals? Whether we own a house, a car, etc. doesn’t change the fact that we still have to have food to eat. That is also true. But isn’t the purchasing of food a form of ownership? If you don’t own the place where you live, it is likely your landlord will not allow you to put in a garden. You won’t be able to raise livestock for eggs, for dairy, for meat…if you eat such things. I was a vegetarian for over 20 years. I know one can survive without consuming animal flesh. However, the loss of certain B vitamins, especially B-12, wreaks havoc with your nervous system. Stress, anxiety, depression often stem from a lack of these vitamins. And supplements are expensive. The purchase of such is also a form of ownership.

Now let’s go back to the garden. You can’t have one. You don’t own the land upon which your leased/rented home sits. What if you truly enjoy gardening? And what if you’re an introvert, like me, and the thought of a community garden makes you feel physically ill at times? If it’s not YOUR garden alone, you may be limited by what you can plant there. If you’re a herbalist like me, growing purely medicinal plants would likely be prohibited. Big Pharma doesn’t like competition, or a loss of control. So you don’t own the land. You can’t garden, which brings you joy. You can’t grow the types of food you enjoy eating. You can’t grow and make your own medicines, or even health and beauty aids. You’ll have to buy from big box stores, or online retailers. What’s in that food? That medicine? That skincare supplement?

Okay. You’re not a gardener. Maybe you like swimming in a pool, hosting backyard barbecues. Guess what? You can’t do that either. It’s not your land. And the people at Davos, who fly around in their private jets, just decreed that barbecues are environmentally unfriendly. The smoke produces too much CO2. As do cows. No steak. No hamburgers. No cheese to melt over that petrie dish substitute.

What if you’re not an outdoors kind of person at all? You don’t own your home. The landlord doesn’t allow pets. He/she doesn’t want you painting the walls. Your place isn’t big enough for a workshop to build things, like furniture. And your kitchen only consists of a microwave and a single induction burner. Baking, canning what you grew at the community garden, or cooking healthy meals is next to impossible (microwaves destroy all of the wholesome goodness in the food cooked in them). You can’t knit. Raising livestock is outlawed (that CO2 thing again) so no wool, angora, or mohair to work with. Acrylics will disappear, too, since we’re no longer drilling for oil.

Maybe you like taking the occasional long drive in the country. Yes, improvements in batteries for electric vehicles (EV) are happening all the time these days. But at what cost to the environment? No, oil and gasoline are not infinite resources. Neither are cadmium or nickel, or any other precious metal. Yes, drilling for oil does tremendous harm to the environment. But so does mining for these metals. Like coal, mountains are dug out, and run-off from the mining pollutes the soil and water. However, to get back on subject, you want to take that drive. But you don’t own a vehicle–EV or otherwise–and the EVs left at the community garage are all in use today. Sorry.

Does this sound like a happy existence?

If we own nothing, we also cease to own our joy. By owning nothing, we give up our right to choose for ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want some wrinkled up prune in Davos telling me I can’t pick a few dandelion leaves to feed to my rabbits, or even a salad for myself. I don’t want anyone telling me I can’t take a road trip someday to visit my brother in Tennessee because he’s outside of my 15 minute zone. I don’t want to eat synthetic, processed foods, or wear plastic clothing. I want the freedom to make truly healthy choices for me, my family, my pets, and my community.

I also don’t want to be at the mercy of the “system”. What happened in 2020 will last in my memory forever. The walk into the grocery store and seeing aisles of completely empty shelves. Companies, stores, libraries completely shutdown. Places of worship closed until further notice. Loved ones denied the right to say a proper “goodbye” to those they lost. The loss of employment for so many because they refused to become human guinea pigs in their real-world experiments. And now, watching so many young people–healthy, young athletes–dropping after accepting a jab to the arm as part of that experiment.

The less dependent on that “system” we are, the less that fabricated shortages, shutdowns, and experiments will hurt us. Even a window box will produce some food and reduce some of that dependence. It may not be enough to sustain you completely, but start there. Learn how to can food and pick up produce at a farmer’s market. Or even on sale at the grocery store. Learn how to make pet food from scratch. If you can, invest in a chest freezer. Find someone in your community who knows how to find and identify wild edibles. Visit your local library and check out books on the Great Depression. Or comb YouTube for videos on the same. What did our ancestors do to make it through? There is a sense of pride that comes with being able to make your own way in the world, in being able to cook from scratch, grow a few tomatoes and herbs in a pot, split wood for a fire in a stove.

There is a sense of pride in owning a home, too. Yes, you can become a slave to that ownership, especially during hard times. And there’s no denying the cost. Not everyone can afford homeownership and that is the real tragedy in our society today. Houses have gotten progressively bigger and more expensive. At the risk of sounding like one of those conspiracy theorists, perhaps that’s part of the plan from some of our leaders. But the freedom to live as one chooses is worth the fight.

Even Jesus gives us the right to choose.

May God bless you & keep you!

Brothers & Sisters, Culture, Folklore, Gratitude, Herbs, Holidays, Tradition, YouTube

Celebrating January 6th

“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”

Relax.

Breathe.

It’s not what you think.

Dare I say, “Gotcha!”? I could hear the hackles rising as your eyes skimmed the headline. No, I am not celebrating an attempt to stop the election process here in the U.S., nor the chants calling for the lynching of our then-sitting vice-president. Regardless of who you believe is at fault for that fateful day, January 6th has gotten far too much attention already. Let’s leave it for the talking heads in mainstream media. It’s time to move on.

Instead of January 6th having such a negative association, let’s inject it with some positivity. I recently learned that in Ireland January 6th is Women’s Christmas. It is a time when mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters are honored with a day of rest and special pampering from fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons. Contrary to popular belief, most menfolk really do appreciate the gifts and sacrifices the women in their lives make. And, in a world where women are rapidly losing the awards and opportunities they’ve worked so hard to compete for, making January 6th a celebration of women worldwide would be a win-win for us all.

But don’t take my word for it.

If you would like to learn more about this lovely, but little-known tradition from Ireland, click on the video below. If you enjoy it, hit the “Like” button. Or, better yet, hit the bell to subscribe for more great videos about herbs, nature, spirituality, Celtic folklore, and traditions. I have been following Terri Conroy of Danu’s Irish Herb Garden for almost two years’ now. She’s a wealth of information and I look forward to her videos every week; I hope you will, too.

May God bless you & keep you!

19th century, Books, Christianity, Creativity, Diversity, Frugality, Introvert, Proofreading, Writing, YouTube

Learning the Ropes

“Lord, I am overflowing with your blessings, just as you promised. Now teach me good judgment as well as knowledge. For your laws are my guide.” (Psalms 119:65-66)

I approached the return to academia to earn my Masters in Creative Writing with a little trepidation. The frugal fanatic questioned the wisdom of racking up more student loan debt against the benefit in the job market of a higher degree…especially at my age (mid-50s). However, knowing my thesis will be the completion of my first manuscript, along with at least one full revision, the MFA program won out. If I don’t do this now, it’ll never happen.

I started this journey bent on also earning my teaching certificate for higher education (online classrooms only) and then, after the first term or two, I decided to switch to the Professional Writing program. I wrongfully assumed that it mostly involved advertising. I really hated the Intro to Advertising/Marketing that I took as an elective when I earned my Bachelor’s degree. Somehow the idea of perpetually trying to come up with new jingles to sell more products that I will probably never use, nor endorse, while competing with others in a cut-throat environment just didn’t appeal. Granted, there’s big money in advertising, and many love their careers in it. However, I couldn’t see this introvert being happy in such an environment, no matter how healthy the pay scale.

I’m learning that the professional writing program at Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) is a whole lot more; albeit, I am learning more about search engine and social media optimization, elevator pitches, and marketing along the way.

Ghostwriting; proofreading and/or editing for other writers; speech writing; web content; creating brochures and informational materials; articles; essays; newsletters, and blogs are all ways to supplement income and create a brand. Hence, the renewed interest in this blog, the desire to build a website that I can add to as products and services become available, and the ambition to learn more about podcasting, voiceover acting, and creating YouTube videos.

No, these last are not taught as part of the professional writing curriculum but, SNHU does stress diversity in the services you offer. Sort of a “don’t-put-all-your-eggs-into-one-basket” mentality. In today’s primarily part-time job market, it’s sound advice. The full-time, blue collar profession, with benefits and competitive wages, to which one can devote 20+ years and then retire, is a fond memory of our parents’ and grandparents’ generation. This Gen-X-er has always chafed and sneered at being called the “lost” or “forgotten” generation but, in this instance, it fits. Gen-X-ers grew up during the transition from full-time, blue collar and today’s advanced AI. When I was in high school, we were still being taught to focus on that one career that would stand us for much of our adult life while being introduced to DOS programming; Windows didn’t officially start until the year after I graduated. There’s been a constant learning curve ever since and I’m looking forward to learning still more…despite my obsession with all things 19th century.

How’s that for an oxymoron?

May God bless you & keep you!

Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal Rights, Animals, Appreciation, Christianity, Faith, Frugality, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Scripture, YouTube

Overcoming “Stupid”

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24)

I read somewhere, can’t remember where exactly, but I remember reading somewhere that when you’re under a lot of stress, you get “stupid”. I.e. You make a lot of choices that you wouldn’t be making if you weren’t under so much stress. If your standard of living wasn’t stuck on survive…or even just going through the motions to make it look like you were surviving.

I’ve always hated the word “stupid”. My stepfather called all of us “stupid” on a routine basis. Such is the results of alcoholism and the subsequent abuse that usually accompanies it. But that’s neither here nor there.

“Stupid” works in this situation.

In the last couple of weeks since I’ve gotten my promotion at work, it’s like there’s this part of my brain waking up. “Wow. I haven’t thought of doing that in a long time,” says my brain as I cash my first paycheck in this new position and start labeling envelopes for everything I need to catch up on, or save up for. I’m on top of my billing schedule all of a sudden (maybe because I know I can make the payments?). Household chores are being taken up again. The apathy, depression, and anxiety are being put to sleep again. Problem solving, budgeting, and careful planning are jockeying into position.

Who knew.

Having been in therapy for decades from a childhood of abuse and degradation, my mind automatically starts analyzing everything. I feel like the “stupid” was really a self-defense mechanism kicking in. I lost a full-time job due to an injury (i.e. not my fault as I was laid up for several months) and fell behind on mortgage payments. I have new(er) neighbors challenging zoning…and threatening my goats, chickens, and ducks’ right to be here. My home needs a tremendous amount of work done. I have student loans coming down the pike and an out-of-control electric bill from a flooded basement last fall (well-pump not shutting off due to enormous hole blown in hot water tank…). We’re buying in water to drink due to my water softener dying on me. I feel like that self-defense mechanism kicked in and shut down logic and reason and common sense because maybe it was too much to handle. My mind could only focus on one thing: finding work to sustain me. And that was becoming a near thing.

Now, not only is logic and good reason, common sense and the ability to solve problems, budget, and plan returning, so is hope for a future.

Hence, my post from earlier this week about podcasts and YouTube channels and websites. Yes, I want to run with the wind. But, the perpetual fog I’ve been living under these last few years (yes, years), has tempered some of that run. I’m learning to walk again. Slow and steady wins this race.

And, of course, His grace, which has led me through this. It’s all in his hands. Faith has returned, too. It just took letting go of the reins. Not “stupid” at all.

May God bless you & keep you!

Art, Books, Christianity, Creativity, Faith, Friendship, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Herbs, Homesteading, Plants, Prayer, Writing, YouTube

An Upgrade?

“I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise on my lips. My soul will boast in the lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together” (Psalm 34:1-3)

And an update: the mortgage company is NOT happy that I have suddenly tripled my income and may be able to begin payments again. They are fighting tooth and nail to go straight to foreclosure. Contrary to what they often tell you, no, they wouldn’t rather keep you in your home. Especially if you’ve been in the home for as long as I have, and even with recent financial difficulties, was moving from just paying interest to finally touching principle before my injury and subsequent job loss. If they take it over, the owner (in this case, me) loses the equity and, whoever buys it going forward will supply the bank with a whole new round of interest payments. Greedy b@$t@rd$…

However, my attorney is on to them and there is a plan in place. Either I will keep the home, or I will sell it and, hopefully, receive some of my equity.

On another note, I am looking to upgrade my blog. My plan is to grow it into an actual website i.e. a paid subscription to WordPress (after taking some tutorials; I’m abysmally ignorant of how this all works) with a hosting platform. Whether I stay in my current home, or sell it and move, The Herbal Hare Tomestead will be growing. I’m still in the planning stages but, stay tuned.

A sneak peek?

Links to a future YouTube channel; podcast; a bulletin board for workshops and other events; how you may contact me for freelance projects, including possible voiceover work (although that may be a year or more into the future; I need to secure my home before I can look into building out a voiceover studio in it), as well as an online retail space as I get back into fiber arts. Again, this last may be farther into the future but, it starts with creating a website that can be added onto as I grow my homestead and business.

Again, stay tuned…and a big shout out of “Thanks!” to everyone who has continued to follow me through such spotty and uncertain times. I really appreciate your support, encouragement, prayers, and friendship.

May God bless you & keep you!

Animals, Books, Christianity, Creativity, Faith, Fiber Arts, gardening, Gratitude, Greenhouse, Healing, Herbs, Homesteading, Memories, Plants, Poverty, Prayer, Spices, Spinning, Straw Braiding, Weaving, Wool, Writing, YouTube

Where He Leads

“Your road led by a pathway through the sea–a pathway no one knew was there!” (Psalms 77:19)

I received a phone call from a realtor a couple of weeks’ ago. It’s not the first offer that I’ve received for my property but, up until this point, they’ve been offers simply to list it and, knowing it’s fixer-upper state, I’ve pretty much ignored the letters and calls.

Until now.

Granted, selling would solve a lot of my financial burdens. Previous realtors talked about “staging” and, in short, wanting to “showcase” it for potential buyers. In its current state, I doubt it would pass an inspection for anyone other than a house flipper. If I had the financial means to make some of the repairs, or the plumbing, carpentry, or construction skills to do it myself, it wouldn’t be where it is in the first place and I probably would’ve sold years’ ago.

This guy was different. After total transparency on my part: it needs a new roof, new gutters, a new hot water tank (we haven’t had running hot water since last November), a new water softener (buying in water every couple of days for humans, goats, chickens and ducks to drink is breaking the proverbial bank), some electrical work, the foundation repaired, and the back door doesn’t close properly due to too much settling, this realtor tells me his interest is in its commercial value. He would like to see the property, of course, but his plan is to remove the house and rebuild for commercial use.

This looks hopeful. There’s even a chance of recouping some of the equity in the home to start over again.

It is also bittersweet. On the one hand, I’m feeling a sense of hope that maybe I have a future after all…beyond pitching a tent in the woods somewhere. There’s an impending sense of relief to be free of the roller coaster emotional ride that foreclosure mediation inevitably brings. On the other hand, I’ve lived here for over 20 years. There are a lot of memories, both happy and sad, and the dreams I had for this place that have never been realized due to the financial burdens that started with the Great Recession and appear to be ending with the current recession. I have many beloved pets buried here, too. I hate the thought of them being paved over or dug up.

However, I’m also seeing how limited I would be to make those dreams a reality even if I stayed. There’s still the zoning issue to resolve…and no guarantee it will go in my favor. The property isn’t big enough to accomplish what I have in mind. There’s no parking for that second-hand book store. No room to grow things like flax or rye straw, or cash crops like elderberries. No pasture for the number of fiber-producing animals that I’d need to raise to truly become “The Herbal Hare Tomestead and Animal Sanctuary: Home of Misfit Animals and Books, and Makers of Herbal, Apian, and Natural Fiber Products”.

“Leaf It To the Goats” isn’t even on the radar here.

I could go much smaller, of course. I could be content with turning much of this almost-acre into an extensive herb garden, maybe add a small greenhouse for warmth-loving spices, like cardamom and turmeric. I could still grow microgreens, maybe get into growing mushrooms. There’s a planned YouTube channel, regardless of where we land, and I could still produce it here as its main focus will be herbs. I could be content with rabbits, maybe a couple of Angora goats (if I won the zoning case), for spinning. And honeybees don’t take much room. However, the latter haven’t done well here. I think it’s in part because I’m so close to a major interstate; they don’t have much of a “fly zone”. But I’ve also heard from more seasoned beekeepers that it can take years to get an apiary up and running…and there’s always Colony Collapse to contend with today. It’s not a bad plan and would leave more room for writing (always a plus).

In short, I’m leaving it all in His hands. I will be calling the realtor later today to schedule a visit. I’m also waiting to hear if I’ve gotten the director’s position I applied for at the library where I work. I had the interview on Friday. I’m hoping I hear something before my foreclosure hearing on Monday. This could be the definitive moment. As the salary of a director is considerably higher than a part-time librarian’s it might be enough to modify.

Again, it’s in His hands. I know what I’d like to do. And I have contingency plans. But, in the end, it’s His plan that truly matters. Talk about one’s faith being challenged.

May God bless you & keep you!

PS Please keep the prayers & positive thoughts/energy coming. And I would be eternally grateful if you would share the Go Fund Me link below. Praise the Lord!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-this-animal-sanctuary-grow-and-thrive

Animals, Books, Christianity, Compassion, Creativity, Fiber Arts, gardening, Herbs, Homesteading, Poverty, Spinning, Understanding, Weaving, Writing, YouTube, Zero Waste

Getting to the Starting Line

“The rich man’s wealth is his only strength. The poor man’s poverty is his only curse.” (Proverbs 10:15)

I hate platitudes, those pat little bits of advice from people who have never walked an inch in another’s shoes, nevermind a mile.

Or maybe it’s not a platitude, but one of those itchy little thorns that get under your skin because you know there’s a grain of truth to it.

I once lamented to a significant other that he didn’t take me seriously. I can’t even remember what we were arguing about at the time but, very calmly, he said I didn’t take myself seriously. My initial reaction was what the f*** is that suppose to mean? Another friend told me that I missed my opportunities. Again, same initial reaction.

Yeah, it’s the itchy little thorn scenario.

I still don’t know if I buy the first one. That sounds like a lack of confidence (or a crafty little cop-out on his part…). Yeah, maybe I do lack confidence to some extent but, in areas where it matters, no, I’m okay there.

I know my writing is good. Sure, my blog posts may have a lot of run-ons and half sentences, but it gets the point across and people read it. The books I have “in-the-works” get more of the polish and, those who have read bits and bobs of them, tend to give positive feedback and encouragement. As a homesteader, well, we may soon be without a homestead. That’s enough to destroy anyone’s confidence for a spell, but not because I lack confidence that I can grow a significant amount of food, grow herbs, spin yarn, weave cloth, or keep bees and livestock. What skills I lack, I can always learn. It’s more of an insecurity thing, a fear of putting the work in to develop the present property only to lose it.

And, yeah, maybe wondering if any business ideas that I have will come to enough of a fruition that I can continue…here, or on another property.

This last falls under the heading of “Fear of Failure”, not “Lack of Confidence”. A business using goats to clear land; a secondhand bookstore and herbery; a zero waste store; a monthly newsletter/magazine that features herbs, natural fibers, and all things homesteading, or a YouTube channel featuring all of, or part of, the above are all viable ideas that have the ability to stand on their own. I don’t lack confidence in the viability of any idea. I believe in them enough to have created business plans and/or grant proposals for all of them. But, maybe, just maybe, I’m willing to concede that I lack the confidence that I’ll ever find the necessary funds, the land, and the physical support to see them fly (there should be a support group for impoverished wannabe entrepreneurs…). And that is where I fear the failure.

As for the other itchy little thorn? It’s difficult to take advantage of a presented opportunity if you have no way to support yourself, your family, etc. while you take that advantage.

So, yeah, these offhanded remarks have itched and poked and stung over the years with all of the tenacity of a killer hornet. They were also hurtful and callous remarks by the people who uttered them. And, as I sit here typing this, I can’t help wondering how many other would-be entrepreneurs are sitting out there feeling the same angst that I do. How many jobs are “lost” before they are ever realized? And don’t get me started on big box stores and monopolizing tech companies pushing out the small business owners who are able to make their dreams a reality.

May God bless you & keep you!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-our-farm-is-being-foreclosed

Christianity, Faith, gardening, Herbs, Holidays, Homesteading, Plants, Wicca, YouTube

Midsummer and Change

“An empty stable stays clean–but there is no income from an empty stable.” (Proverbs 11:4)

First of all, I want to shout out a Happy Litha to all of my pagan and Wiccan friends. Today marks the start of Litha on the pagan calendar. We are rapidly approaching the longest day of the year, which is Sunday, Father’s Day, and the First Day of Summer for the rest of us.

And what better time to contemplate some more changes here on The Herbal Hare Homestead?

My coach is pulling me out of my comfort zone in a big way. We’re talking about creating a YouTube channel in the not-so-distant future.

Whoa.

I’m not sure I’m ready for YouTube. I always thought I’d start a YouTube channel when I finally had my homestead in Maine…or found a way to get this one off the ground better. I’ve had visions of a well-manicured garden with hundreds of different herbs growing–much like I was in charge of for 16 months at a local living history museum–and giving virtual “weed” walks each week. A seriously overgrown jungle? Definitely not on my radar…

Yep. The procrastinator seeking the perfect conditions to get started.

Paradoxically, those visions have always included a younger-looking version of me, which, as I waste time waiting for those perfect conditions, I’m only getting older like everybody else.

There’s also an awareness I am not the least bit camera-friendly…

Yep. The sin of vanity, too. And who says I have to film me? I mean, this YouTube channel will be about plants, particularly herbs, homesteading and prepping. Right?

Well, she’s certainly put the bug in my ear, lit the proverbial fire under my backside. Now if I can stop these knees from quaking, well, not too much yet. There’s also a sort of nervous anticipation here. Can I do this?

Here.

Now.

When I have such a limited space?

Or is it limiting at all?

Sky’s the limit as they say. Another good expression is I’m only as limited as my imagination. Mine’s pretty prolific so maybe this thing will fly after all. We shall see.

In the meantime, we all know what I’m going to be mulling over for the next few days. What’s on your plate this week?

May God bless you & keep you!

Books, Christianity, Creativity, Enlightenment, Faith, God/Jesus, Gratitude, Healing, Memories, Music, Nostalgia, Open-mindedness, Rock & Roll, Self-esteem, Self-improvement, Social Media, YouTube

Another Chapter

“A merry doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick” (Proverbs 17:22)

I turned 54 the Friday before Thanksgiving. I started my day with a cuppa tea and a steady stream of Weird Al Yankovic videos from YouTube.

Odd.

No, I wasn’t jonesing because, as I grow ever deeper into my 50s, I cannot help but grow more aware of things like aging and mortality………

Okay.

Maybe just a little.

But who couldn’t use a little humor on their birthday?

And, if I’m really being honest, I’ve always had a “thing” for Weird Al. He’s my brand of sexy. And, as he was a bachelor for quite a number of years, well, he’s not now, but hope bloomed steady in this heart for those numbers of years (chuckle). As if…

Sigh.

No, I’m not jonesing that he’s been a seemingly happily married man for some time now. I wish he and the Mrs. many more happy years. If I had to analyze my musical choices on the birthday, I would say, if any jonesing, it was the trip down memory lane that many of his videos evoked: Donny Osmond, Florence Henderson, Michael Jackson…so many of the icons of my youth grace his videos, or inspired them. So much so that the real jonesing flourished alongside the chuckles over his cleverly written, tongue-in-cheek lyrics.

Damn. I’m getting old.

Eventually I turned off the TV and headed upstairs to spend some much-needed time with my characters. And there I stayed, hacking out another chapter in the literary desert, praying that with God’s grace, this book will be one of many. Perhaps someday another individual will read a few chapters on their 54th birthday and feel some of the same emotions as I did watching Weird Al’s videos: hope, humor, awe, humility, nostalgia, and yes, even some low-key depression.

In the meantime, I have continued to ponder life. I’ve been looking back over the years. Seeing all that I’ve done, all that I’ve accomplished…at least in terms of academics. It’s time to put to use the college degree, the myriad certifications, and live the life of my dreams. There is no room in the heart of the faithful for fear. And I’ve allowed it to take root and stay.

Time to clean house.

Looks like my birthday spent with Weird Al had a bit of a cathartic effect, too. Here’s to another 54 years, give or take, and a merry heart finally ready to follow the path that God has been nudging me towards before it’s too late.

What dreams are you holding in your heart but too afraid to follow? Time to clean house and give the adversary the boot.

May God bless you & keep you!